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Hi Girls, I wasn't sure where to post this but I hope you can offer me some advise because I am in a bit of a pickle.

One of my friends told me last night that after she slept with my married friend (H2B's best friend) two months ago after a party of ours. I am so shocked and she said it was eating her up and felt she was lying to me and had to tell me. I am good friends with his wife and they are only married a year. She has put me in an awful situation as I think his wife should know but I am not the one to tell her.

She seems we shouldn't fall out over this as she has never met his wife and insists she wouldn't do this to a friend. I don't want to lose her as a friend but I am really seeing her in a different light. I am so angry and disappointed with her, she knows how I stand on being unfaithful as I went through my parents breaking up over another woman. I told H2B and he is furious with his friend, he was sure he would never stray.

What to do? Any advise would be very much appreciated.

jeepers that is a really tough one, think I would be the same not sure if I could feel the same about a friend who was happy to sleep with a newly married man, not really sure why she told you I mean is she not really feeling bad.

She keeps apologising and asked me if this will affect our friendship to which I told her I wasn't sure and she got defensive and said she thought we were better friends and that she was sure H2B and his friend wouldn't fall out. She wouldn't do it to a friend but she has no problem doing it to my friend! I think she told me to relieve the guilt.

Would you h2b say it to his friend to see what his reaction is?? did they sleep together at yer house ? If so how did ye not notice ?

If I was the poor woman that was married to this man I would want to know the truth, god knows he could have done this before and even if he didn't the truth always comes out and now that more people know its only a matter of time before she finds out. It would be worse for her if she finds out as well that ye knew and didn't tell her.

myself and h2b are going through this at the moment as well, we found out that one of my h2bs friends girlfriend was and has cheated on him a number of times in the past, We were totally shocked over this and debated weather to tell him or not but eventually we got a few friends together and got him to come round and told him..He was devastated and they broke up...now if they get back together it�s their choice and at least we have a clear conscience and he knows the truth.
I know its such a horrible position to be in but seriously what kind of women sleeps with a married man. Imagine if you h2b cheated on you and your friend didn't tell you how would you feel?
Good Luck anyway

Hi Autumnbride, they went back to her house the next day after everyone left so we were none the wiser. She said he told her he does his all the time and I am just so gobsmacked, I never would have thought it.

I know, I am disgusted with her, I can't believe a friend of mine would do something like that. My H2B will say it to him and I think it is up to him to tell his wife, not us. I would defo want to know if my guy was doing that on me, I just feel terrible that it could mean the end of their marriage.

yellowher- my heart goes out to you and H2B - what a horrible sit to be in.

I think you are H2B needs to say to his friedn that he must tell wife or you will- i think either way you might lose a friend- but if it was me I would prefer to keep the honest friend

That's a really awful situation to be in. I think your h2b should say it to the guy to see what he says, and that you are thinking about telling the wife because you feel so bad about knowing. Then its up to him to come clean or let you tell her. If he admitted that he does it all the time, the poor girl needs to know.

As for your friendship with this girl, only you can decide if you'll be able to get over it. You've obviously made it clear that you really dissapprove of her actions, so maybe take a step back for a while then see how you feel.

I think it would depend on how good a friend she is to you, I wouldn't tell her personally cause usually this back fires, I have been at the other end of this and didn't speak to a friend who told me about an unfaithful partner for 3 years. I would defo. not want to be the person who tells her I would hope it would run it's course, I know it's hard cause if she found out and then discovered you never told her...the friend I didn't talk to for 3 years I respect so much more now than others who never said anything. I know it's just impossible to know what to do in these situations.

While I can understand you are mad with her for putting you in this situation but it has to be said - it�s your hubbi's BM that is married not her!
So technically she didn't anything wrong - she wasn't unfaithful.
Personally I don�t think she should have told you � the other relationship sounds like it�s in a mess even though the wife doesn�t know.
If you get involved you might not be thanked for it. If like your friend says the husband does this all the time how do you know the wife doesn�t know and is turning a blind eye? Pently of people do it for whatever reason.
I just wouldn�t get involved granted if it was done at your house or in front of you, Id say something then.
You have to careful in these situations because no one ever really knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Try not to stress about it too much, it�s not your problem. Easier said that done I know.

Yellowker what a rotten situation you are in. I just noticed that something about your last post doesn't ring true..(from your friend's point of view).

It is highly unlikely that the guy told her he does this all the time. She is just saying that to make herself look better. If the guy and his wife broke up she could then convince herself and others that he had done it before, and would probably have gone on to do it again.

Why would a guy say that to a girl? Even your biggest chancer in a night club will utter the words "I don't normally do this sort of thing". If he really wanted to sleep with her, he wouldn't have let her know she was the latest in a long line of women. Also he would hardly choose a friend of yours to confide in and risk it getting back to you. I think it is an out and out lie.

(edited for annoying spelling mistake)

While I take your point your point Nantes. I can think of one or two people I could definitely see after a girl got guilty that they say not to worry, they didn�t get caught last time! More likely after the deed obviously!

I totally agree with Nantes I have to say, never thought of it but think she is right.

What a crap situation to be in Yellowker. As the others have said I wouldn't tell his wife but make sure he knows that you and h2b know what he did. He should be the one to tell her what he has been up to.

As for your friend, what she has done is horrible and she seems to feel very guilty about (which she should) but she wasn't alone in this deception and she obviously feels worse about it than he does! I would let her know how disappointed you are with her but give her a break as she seems to be suffering a lot already!

Nantes, he did tell her this afterwards, I personally don't think he is happy, I mean he picks one of my closest friends, it's like he wants to get found out.

I wouldn't rule out his wife turning a blind eye, although maybe she honestly doesn't have a clue. I am afriad that if it ends up me having to tell her or even if he tells her himself I will get blamed and targeted as it was my friend. I'm even thinking ahead to ou wedding, will I even be able to have my friend there, will the couple even be together? I am so worried!

I am with Nantes there.... That line of "doing it all the time" didn't sit right with me either. I think she is lying when she said this................

Dunno.......... just a hunch........