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Yelloker, you know it is a terrible situation to find yourself in, but you know something, I would not be loosing any sleep over it. It is none of your business really when you think about it, your H2Bs friend cheating on his wife and with your friend is their problem (the husband and wife and your friend). Your disapproval of what they do will not matter to them, and TBH if his wife hasn't got a clue, it is not up to you to tell her. Decide what you want to do, and who you would like to stay friends with, but you must not let it get to you, cause in reality, it is nothing to do with you and your H2B.

I think at this stage there is nothing you can do about it, put it behind you and be friends with whoever you want to...you've said your piece so it is out of your hands.

You know I think the thing that's really bugging me now is the fact that him and H2B are all best buds again and I haven't seen or spoken to my friend. It seems so unfair, I am such a worrier anyway, but think it would be easier to meet up with this girl and sort it out for my own piece of mind. I just can't get past what she's done and things she's saying...'To be honest you've really let me down in how you're dealing with this' !!!! And the classic, 'I don't have the energy to deal with this at the moment'

Sorry girls, I'm like a broken record at the moment (at least in my own head as I can't speak to anyone about it) so thanks for the little release

poor yellowker,

I know exactly how you feel, everyone else seems to have moved on and dealt with it (other than mr. "flingy off pants at the drop of a hat" and your friend) and you still feel bad about it.

I feeling the same way at the moment about something different. I seem to be the only one bothered by it. I went out last Sunday night and ended up crying and fighting with H2B and my mam because of it (had to stay at her house cos of fight with H2B and I stormed off in a sulk). And you know what, I just don't care anymore what these other people do, it's their business.

They don't care that you are upset by this, they are too busy trying to ease their guilt by turning it back on you.

Quote:

'To be honest you've really let me down in how you're dealing with this'

I mean WTF!!!!
What about how she let you down by putting you in this awful position.

I also know how you feel about H2B. It was the same for me last weekend. You feel he should be as angry about it as you are. He just isn't letting it upset him as much as you are. You should do the same. I know it's easier said than done as that is what was suggested to me about my situation and I was like "right yeah". But in the long run you should try to put it behind you. Nobody can make you feel bad, angry, upset without your consent.

You did your best in the situation and you can't do anymore, let them off to do what they like, I know it's hard because the wife is also your friend.

You can never change the way people are or how they treat you, you can only change how you react to it.

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Thanks for the great advice Xmas, something you said there just clicked about how I can choose to let them upset me, you're so right, I wish I was built a bit tougher sometimes.

That's exactly it, not like i want H2B upset too cos I don't want him to feel like this but I want him to support me and give out to his friend cos he thinks everything is roses and we're all supposed to forget! Sorry, I'm like an elephant in that regard!

She's a cheeky mare saying that aren't I right? Trouble is she knows I'm a softie and she's obviously playing on it! Grr!!

you are like my clone, i'm too soft too and everyone knows it.

Men are different about these things. I'm not saying he's not agreeing with you, of course he is. He just feels that he has said his piece and thats it book closed. My h2b is like that too all "sure what r u worried about them for, do you think they are worried about you" and he is soo right. I'd be like "why don't you support me on this" and he's like "sure what do you want me to do" But sometimes I do fly off the handle in a rage.

I wouldn't even call this other girl your friend she is just an acquaintance (i have them too).

You have to totally play the game with her when she starts this craic. Say something along the lines of "oh god I'm sorry it must be so hard for you with no-one to talk to that understands how you feel, sure I'm hardly the best person to be advising you. I wouldn't have a clue about this stuff. Maybe you should talk to someone else that knows about these kind of things"


In other words shove off and leave me and H2b alone.

Yeah it's not such a bad thing the way men can be (don't quote me tho!), I mean I'd love to just say 'ah to hell with them all' and I could easily but I wouldn't mean it and I would still worry the socks off myself. It is good for H2B that he can get over it but doesn't help me much. I'll have to take a leaf from his book and forget it and I think you're right abot her, I mean with friends like her who needs enemies?

I am just sick of all the bad feeling I have for this girl. I do think the wife should know but I won't be saying a word, that's his problem.

I think maybe yes you're right, she could have made it up, he got very annoyed when I told him she'd said that and he had admitted everything else so their stories matched up to that point.

I think if we made up and got talking it would be handy to keep her on hand, couldn't trust her again.