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Ms Cinders & Elliecat, I really really hope we can convince this guy (hopefully won't need much if he has any conscience) that he needs to tell his wife himself, I am a bundle of nerves at the minute and as much as I have said I would tell her myself I would really not like to.
It would be so much easier to give him a rap on the knuckles and let him know we're onto him and for his wife not to find out but I really think he owes her the truth.
Joined: 05 Aug 2022 Posts: 390 Location: Love Island
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2021 12:09 pm Post subject:
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Miss sixty: this man seemed to want to be clenched, it's not the first time he has cheated.
That is very true. He is a total rat as far as I can see.
However on the argument of "her", a very good point has been made:
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she knew he was married,she was sober, had a half an hour taxi drive with him and it still didnt' cost her a thought..not a thought for his wife
.........so I still stand by my origional conviction! He was a challenge to her cos he is married. She got what she wanted...sex and an ego boost! Had it been just "no strings attached sex" she was after, all she had to do was have a one night stand with joe bloggs. She is a bitch in the highest degree.
Yellowker if there were more sincere women like you in the world men wouldnt get away with this shite. Every woman needs a friend like you in their life and you sound like a lovely girl!
Well said miss sixty, yellowker you really do sound like a lovely girl and the reason you are a bundle of nerves is because you have a conscience and know that this kind of behaviour is totally wrong. Personally I don't think you need those kinds of "friends" in your life. Life can be hard enough at times (of which I am sure you are well aware) without other people off loading their crap on you as well. I defiantly think the owes his wife the truth but the fact that he did this in the first place tells me that he is not a very nice man therefore I reckon that when ye confront him he will try and persuade you not to say anything to his wife... he will probably give you a number of excuse as to why it happened like " oh we are going through a rough patch at the moment!!!!, It was just sex it meant nothing !!! " He will also probably tell you it will never happen again of which you can never be sure but at the end of the day he is the one that cheated on his wife and involved ye in it by going off with your "friend" so he obliviously wasn�t' to bothered about getting caught !! I would seriously threaten him straight to his chops (the miserable prat) that either he tells her or ye will. The choice is his !!
Please try not to worry about it too much Yellowker too much at the end of the day none of us are responsible for what other people do including friends we just hope that those that are dear to us have some shred of decency in them
She keeps apologising and asked me if this will affect our friendship to which I told her I wasn't sure and she got defensive and said she thought we were better friends
The cheek of her to get defensive, she told you and she thought you would say "oh you poor thing". You should tell her that "ya I thought we were better friends than that also but obviously not since you put me in this position" She sounds like a very manipulative person that will only be friends with people if they agree with them all the time and sulk and get in a strop if you disagree with them overanything (even something as "trivial" as breaking up a home and wrecking a life). What a little cow, and she obviously knows yellowker that you are soft (like me) and thought you would keep schtum.
I feel for you, i really do. What a horrible, horrible position to find yourself in.
I think you should make him tell her - he is the one who messed up, he should take the blame for it. Have you thought about the possibility that his wife might know already though?? Not necessarily about this girl, but maybe a previous conquest? I mean, if he's been putting it about for so long??
I can think of one girl from my home town who (in my opinion) got married too young to a good looking, wealthy bloke with connections. He has been shagging around for years and she keeps giving him "one more chance", despite him turning up to a pub she was in with one of his flings.
Joined: 11 Jan 2022 Posts: 405 Location: AKA Gal Bride + Happy out! (changed again as too many happy outs around!)
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2021 1:10 pm Post subject:
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can think of one girl from my home town who (in my opinion) got married too young to a good looking, wealthy bloke with connections. He has been shagging around for years and she keeps giving him "one more chance", despite him turning up to a pub she was in with one of his flings.
Joined: 11 Jan 2022 Posts: 405 Location: AKA Gal Bride + Happy out! (changed again as too many happy outs around!)
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2021 7:52 pm Post subject:
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We're going to talk to the hubby this weekend so will let you all know how it goes. Hopefully it won't be too traumatic.
The very best of luck with it. Hope Im not out of line here telling you not to give into any of his pity stories........stay strong and force HIM to back down and see you are serious about not having his wife treated like a bit of shit on his shoe.
Gosh I think if I had to confront him I wouldnt be able restrain myself from clobbering him round the nether regions
Joined: 15 Nov 2021 Posts: 672 Location: Wherever you are not!!
Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2021 3:51 am Post subject:
Yellowker I have been following this and I feel sad that your friend felt she had to tell you this - she really has put you in a terrible situation and that was totally not fair.
This husband is a total rat bag, however, I feel all you and your DH can do is tell him you know and leave the rest up to him. You cannot make him tell his wife, as their relationship is between them and not really anyone else's business.
I hope he realises how furious you both are with him though.
Good luck,
SNS
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Well we confronted him and it was awful. I had to have a vodka beforehand to calm my nerves and we sat him down and H2B told him we knew. He put his head in his hands and nearly started to cry and said he was going to tell us but didn't know how.
He kept apologising for the position he put me in, being on both sides and probably will lose a friend either way but it didn't mean anything to me. I told him I wasn't the one he should be apologising to, it was his wife and I think he should tell her. He said he couldn't tell her as they're trying for a baby and it would break her heart. I asked him was he happy with her, yes, I asked was he in love with her, yes again. It was a stupid mistake and he regretted it ever since. I told him if he doesn't tell his wife then I couldn't be around her anymore because I couldn't look her in the eye knowing her hubby had slept with my friend.
I also mentioned the fact that my friend told me he does this all the time, he got angry and said he never said that and he's only ever kissed girls when they broke up years ago. I don't know who to believe. He was also really annoyed at her, even though he said himself he didn't have a leg to stand on, but she had nothing to lose and he had everything to lose.
So he left and I am left feeling angry and dissappointed in them both. It looks like his wife will not be told so I can't be her friend knowing what he's done. I don't know what I'll do about my friend either, I know there's equal blame but she meant more to me than him so I see it as such a betrayal.
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