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fair play to you yellowker it cant have been easy to confront him and I dont blame you for having a vodka before hand I woudl have probably drank the bottle if it was me

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He said he couldn't tell her as they're trying for a baby and it would break her heart. I asked him was he happy with her, yes, I asked was he in love with her, yes again. It was a stupid mistake and he regretted it ever since.

How could he do this to his wife when they are trying for a baby, this makes him more of a scumbag in my eyes, His poor wife thinks he is so in love with her and that everything is perfect that they are thinking of bringing a child in to this world, with a man that cant even stay faithful to his wife after only a year being married..what is he going to be like in 10 or 20 years time ??? of course he regrets it he got caught didn't he..I wonder how upset he really was before he realised that ye knew.. Sorry I know I probably sound really cynical but I dont believe him for a second that he is feeling guilty.. Why woudl your friend make it up that he told her he was with other women unless she was trying to make it sound better for herself. To he honest Yellowker you are so much better off with out these people in your life..one of them is lying which one you belive is up to you but I wouldn't believe any of them..

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Oh yellowker tis awful I don't know what your going to do, what did your h2b say

I know, it's horrible. H2B is disgusted and so angry at his friend. I felt sorry for him cos he is so disappointed in him.

Autumbride, I was shocked when he said this cos I didnt think they were going to start for another few years. I asked him how could he even sit with her every night carrying that guilt and he said he's thought about telling her so many times. He said he keeps giving out to her over the smallest thing cos he feels so guilty. I feel so sorry for his poor wife. I asked him if it was the other way around wouldn't he want to know what his wife was up to and he said yes he would but he couldn't tell her.

I think at this stage yellowker you have done all that you can. You and h2b just need to get on with your own relationship. It's up to you if you still want to stay friends with these people.

To be honest yellowker I think he's lying through his teeth didn't a poster say that earlier that he would say anything to try and get out of it. Would you be really close to his wife and be able to ask her if they were trying for a baby or bring the subject of babies up and then you would know if he is lying, I have an awful feeling that he is lying about the trying for a baby part to make ye feel sorry for him and maybe let him off the hook (i.e. Look at me I'm so good I want to make a new start in my life and have a family) what an spineless fraction of a man

In effect the outcome of this now is that you are still between a rock and a hard place. Either way you are still going to carry that awful information around with you and it will eat you up, and I have no doubt it will effect your relationship with your friend (his wife I mean).

On the positive side of all this he is well cornered now and there is a chance that once he has mulled this over in head for a while he may opt to come clean to his wife.........afterall he will be walking on eggshells from now on wondering will you spill the beans on him! It will hang over him and I guarantee he will be living in cold fear of you

Ok say the story evolves another little bit and his wife finds out what happened and she finds out you knew all along:
You now have it on your side that you confronted him and told him to tell her. Also print off this whole thread and keep it safe where you will have hard evidence of how upset you are over the entire situation. I know its little advise but its the best I can think of for now.

And finally I would give the rat bag some space and then confront him again in a week or two.........just to let him know your a threat to him. Keep friends with this girl, in fact make more of an effort to call and meet up with her! It will shit him out! He will possibly confess then.

Well done yellowker, you did a lot more than some people would do.........I hate the "its none of my beeswax" mentality.

Ya Torribride you are right, the more I think about it I feel that way as well but I think Miss Sixty is right she should keep friends with the girl, it may make him crack under the pressure and print the thread at least she will see that yellowker was in turmoil over the whole situation. I still think the fucker is lying through his teeth though and that he will say anything to cover his ass and buy him some time. He is a complete toe rag and an arrogant bastard who thinks that he can get away with sleeping with someone who is so well connected in their social group. And he is mad with yellowkers other friend also, he is like the baby that threw the rattle out of the pram sulk sulk. It reminds me of that film with Leonardo di Caprio Man with the Iron Mask when he was the bad king and the girl he was sleeping with said "we are going to go to hell for this" and he said "well you will, but I won't I am the king".

Yellowker, I agree. I think you are extremly brave, I honestly dont think I would have had the guts to confront him, so good on ya! I think you have done all you can and hopefully his guilty conscience gets too much for him and he comes clean. If you stay envolved your the one who will get hurt, step away and try and move on (Easier said then done, I know)

Thanks Girls, you are all so good letting me go on, I've thought about nothing else but this since the weekend and this is the only place I can talk about it and get advice.

According to his wife they weren't trying yet, she told me this last year so they could have decided to since but I don't know. I won't ask her again though for fear it would lead to an awkward conversation.

I don't think there's anything more I can do, he knows damn well how I feel and in my anger I told him I didn't think I'd stay friends with his 'conquest' so he probably thinks he's off the hook a bit. I am so peed of that I have to lose a friend here and I've done nothing wrong....it was honestly so bloody selfish of her to open her mouth and tell me all. I think for the sake of it I'll make an effort to stay in touch with her but what's a friendship without trust? Maybe I'll feel differently once the anger subsides!!

I have to say well done for confronting him, so many people would have looked the other way. What you and your hubby did was so brave, it is so hard to pull people up on bad behaviour.

All round it is a very said situation but you have gone as far as you can now. It is not your place to tell his wife, it is his and no one elses responsibility. He probably won't but from what I can gather from your conversation with him he is very sorry for it and you have given him something to think about. It is very hard to know whether or not he will behave himself because we don't know whether or not he has done this a lot in the past. I still can't get the fact out of my head that they both were in a taxi sober for a 1/2 hour and still went ahead with it. So I think the chances of him carrying on like an asshole are very high.

Take a break from your friend for a while, she should not have told you this and put you in this position especially with your Uncle's death so recent. But as I said before only you know if she is a good person or not. But I know myself from past experiences that now that you have seen her in a new light your friendship won't ever be the same again.

Well done yellowker I think you should get a job with United Nations as a negotiator or something, you handled this horrible awful situation very well and you have a level of bravery that you don't even realise. I would love to be like you, if it were me I would either a) ran away like a coward and stuck my head in the sand or b) went in all guns blazing shouting and bawling and making it into WW3. The other posters are right, there is no more you can do now, maybe you will feel differently towards your other friend in time but I'd say it will take a while. Skippy I have a feeling that he is only sorry because he got caught, sure we're all sorry when we get caught doing something we shouldn't. At least you have a clear consience now and you know you did all you could. Well done

Hi Girls, thought I'd post again as the situation hasn't improved much. I haven't seen the hubby since we told him we knew although him and H2B did meet up once to talk it through and now seems they are back on track with their friendship whereas I haven't spoken to or seen my friend since she told me.

She keeps cancelling us meeting, but then says she really wants to get it sorted. I don't think she realsies how huge this all is. She actually said to me she had enough going on in her own life and doesn't have the energy to deal with this, the cheek She told me she's not married and did not seduce him and she's not entirely to blame, ok but I feel like she's not willing to step into my shoes. Oh God I am so sick of it!!! I feel dread at the thoughts of next seeing his wife too. Am I being silly about it all now with it going on so long?

Hi Girls, thought I'd post again as the situation hasn't improved much. I haven't seen the hubby since we told him we knew although him and H2B did meet up once to talk it through and now seems they are back on track with their friendship whereas I haven't spoken to or seen my friend since she told me.

She keeps cancelling us meeting, but then says she really wants to get it sorted. I don't think she realsies how huge this all is. She actually said to me she had enough going on in her own life and doesn't have the energy to deal with this, the cheek She told me she's not married and did not seduce him and she's not entirely to blame, ok but I feel like she's not willing to step into my shoes. Oh God I am so sick of it!!! I feel dread at the thoughts of next seeing his wife too. Am I being silly about it all now with it going on so long?

no i don't think you are being silly, it seems like the whole drama of it has left your h2b's best man and your other friend and they are just happy to let it fade away where as you want it sorted I don't blame you. I haven't any advice to give you only maybe talk to your h2b again about how you feel but don't let it escalate into a row or anything, because from what I can see the other two dont' seem to be bothered about it so it's definately not worth you and h2b arguing over selfish people. Here have a bunch of flowers.