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Following on from Yellowkers post about her friend sleeping with another friends husband, let me get an opinion on this.

My best friend is dating a guy and head over heels. Trouble is, he's married. The marriage is in trouble and all of that (blah blah blah), and him and the wife have been living in seperate countries due to work committments this past year - but still spend one weekend a month together.

Anyway, my best friend doesn't care too much right now about what will happen down the line, as she is having a great time, really likes him and isn't thinking about the wife at all. (You can argue why should she?)

I don't really care too much either - to be completely honest, I see no reason why I should feel guilty over two consenting adults and what they get up to. Moraly, I think it's wrong, but I am not berating my friend over her actions, and I'm glad she's happy right now as she has not had the best time for the past few years. I've warned her that it's gonna be a tricky one and she may get hurt, but she assures me her eyes are open and she's well aware of what she is involved in.

My h2b thinks my friend is a 'slag' for knowingly getting involved with a married man. My other friend (girl) thinks so too. And their 'estimation of her has fallen'.

I find it all really intrigueing, how people take such moral stances on these issues......if my best friend was a boy, and the unfaithful husband an unfaithful wife, you can bet that the woman would be in the wrong again.

Or do you disagree?

I hear you, I find girls are often very hard on other girls and want to blame the 'other' woman. I'm interested in your h2b's opinion of your friend...is this just based on this situation or also on past form??

They are having an affair plain and simple and your friend is the "other woman".
Her actions aren't right and in the end she will more than likey get hurt. I understand she's your friend but if it was a man having an affair with a married woman I'd feel the same. I blame the person who is married more though as they've made a commitment. If the relationship isnt working why isnt he finishing it. Although she isnt blameless.

Have to say if she was my friend I would continue being her friend but I'd let her know I disagree with her actions. He's a married man FFS

Your friend isn't shagging MrsConfused husband by any chance is she?

http://www.weddingsonline.ie/forums/viewtopic.php?t=50234&highlight=

Ok being slightly flippant, and not meaning to imply to MrsConfused that her husband is having an afair, I'm sure he isn't. But just making the point that becasue he is in a different country and sees his wife only once a month doesn't necessarily mean his marriage is as bad as he makes out.

His poor wife could be thinking things are great and they are just seperated by temporary circumstances.

Your friend is fucking someone elses husband. if she sets out her stall so low no wonder she has had hard times in the past and surely will again. And he is an out and out scumbag.

Yes cheating is morally wrong and disgusting but as Emma said they are both consenting adults and they know what they are doing. He has more to lose than her but she still shouldn't feel like she is doing nothing wrong!

As for miss sixty's comment:

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Id watch her..........before you know it she will be on top of your man!!!!!!

Why do you assume this??

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I have a problem with this:

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two consenting adults

trouble is, there's another adult who is not consenting to all of this (as far as we know) and that is the wife that this plank has sworn to be faithful to.

I hate this BS about "two consenting adults" - yep, the two shagging are happy enough with the situation, but it's the partner left at home suspecting nothing (be they male or female) who is the one who should have their say.

If they're happy with an open marriage, fine, not for me, whatever floats your boat, but I just do not see the point of being "with" someone, married to them even, if you're interested in shagging all round you. Be upfront about it and just split up so you're free to shag whitout breaking the heart of someone else.

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ergo! vis-�-vis! concordantly!

Why do you assume this??[/quote]

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Anyway, my best friend doesn't care too much right now about what will happen down the line, as she is having a great time, really likes him and isn't thinking about the wife at all

Cos her boundaries arent too much to be desired as it is!

I think that the husband should finish it with his wife if he wants to be with your friend. I hate that its his wife who is the one who will get hurt.

Why cant men just be upfront and get out of it.

I am just not into that at all. I know she is your friend and of course you have no reason to fall out with her over that as they are her actions and not yours.

I would not get involved if I were you.

People who date married men must not mind them sleeping with their wife, sure thats just like someone doing the dirt now and again.

Thats just a mad one

EmmaF, I'd be curious to know your friend's relationship history, has she had many, has she been cheated on herself? It astounds me, it really does, how women (or men) can go after somebody else's husband or wife and I know it takes two to tango btw. Seriously, with all the men out there??

All I can say is I really believe in Karma and may it strike down upon her with great vengence! Let her walk a mile in the poor wife's shoes, she could be knowingly destroying someone's life.

Sometimes a relationship can be well and truly over but a couple are still legally married. If that was the case then I would have no problem with your mate seeing this guy.

But that is not the situation at all. I bet his wife has no idea that she is part of an open marriage (as this is how he is behaving), no matter how much trouble they are in. I am sure she thinks they are working through it. And your friend is just lapping up his bullshit because she has such low self-esteem she can only feel better by taking at attached man.

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Your friend is fucking someone elses husband. if she sets out her stall so low no wonder she has had hard times in the past and surely will again. And he is an out and out scumbag.

I think that puts it perfectly! I have had tough times before and so have a lot of us, but I have never slept with an attached man. As I have said before stay well away from girls who make a habit of sleeping with attached men, it is a sign that they are seriously f****d in the head.

"Anyway, my best friend doesn't care too much right now about what will happen down the line" , "I don't really care too much either "

Dear God woman, how can you be thinking of getting married when you obviously have very little respect of the vows that people have to make in order to get married.

I feel so sorry for that man's wife and you are just as bad as your friend for not telling her how wrong it is! I mean what if you were the wife eh????

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I think the point should be that people should be careful with other peoples feelings. I mean this woman's husband is having an affair that could just ruin her, my sister discovered her husband was having an affair and honestly it nearly killed her, she lost so much weight and will proabably never fully recover, I mean some people are more delicate than others. Think we should all try and put ourselves in these situations, how would I feel if my husband did this to me, for me I would be devastated, think if women were nicer to women this world would be such a nicer place. If a married guy flirts or makes a pass at me I always make a point about his wife, at work functions I go out of my way to make peoples wifes and partners comfortable but I know there is women out there who do the opposite, my whole point is women should be kinder to women!!