WeddingsOnline.ie

had a blazing row with H2B last night. Admittedly, most of it my fault...

He's still learning to drive and REFUSES to go into the petrol station (while he's driving an hour to and from work each day) and fill up and I was being stroppy asking why I needed to drive a 5-minute detour on my way to the gym to do this when he passes the station on the way home.

Yes, my point was THAT pathetic.

But it gets worse... in the argument, he made a dig about me not getting access to the car anymore (his folks gave it to us) and I responded by saying he shouldn't be let out in it anyway (a guy rear-ended him last week). All very nasty.

I came down to apologise for my last comment and honestly, I felt awful about it. He was so upset about the accident.

That's when he blurted out that I was such a HORRIBLE person that it wasn't surprising that I had hardly any friends to invite to our wedding.



I have a small, but great, bunch of friends. I wasn't very outgoing when I was in college, so I lost out on keeping touch with my mates from then. H2B, on the other hand, has got friends everywhere, most of whom I would consider great mates of mine now too.

Anyway, I have no justification for what I said (and don't need anyone to tell me this), but I was soooo upset at his comment. He said later that horribleness leads to more horribleness, but still hasn't apologised. We're talking but ignoring it. Every time I think about the wedding now, I think about what he said.

I don't think I'm looking for advice. Maybe just having a vent.

Thanks for reading!!

Sorry, but I have to let this out

this part especially

Quote:

But it gets worse... in the argument, he made a dig about me not getting access to the car anymore (his folks gave it to us) and I responded by saying he shouldn't be let out in it anyway (a guy rear-ended him last week). All very nasty.

we all say things we don't mean at the heat of the mo. were you talking to him today? has he cooled, if so why not cook him his favourite din dins this evening to make up. The way to a mans hear and all that!! works for me

_________________




[/URL]

sunsparks i really know how your feeling. it reminds me of me and my partner to be honest. sometimes when something trivial starts it breeds other emotions, do you ever notice that? i often think of my partner walking to work or something and feel angry if that makes sense? we are all well capable of killing with words but most of the time we hold back. i think what happened there was he was probably quite hurt by what you said, granted i know you didnt mean any real malice by it, and his defense to make himself feel better by his offended feelings was to hurt you back but ten fold if you get me? i gaurantee you when he marinates in his head what he said to you, he,ll be racked with guilt as im sure hes not a naturally nasty person. i know it probably hit a sore spot with you and it embarrassed you by what he said about your friends situation. on that point, trust me, nobody in their lives has a thousand best mates and id rather like you, have a few good that a hundred acquaintances if that makes sense. the other week i had a blazing row with mine aswell and said horrible nasty things until i saw tears. it wasnt like me but it was an adjusting to a big move in my life. but anyway, it does take a while but believe me it blows over after a few days or a week. maybe talk to each other and vow never to let it get to the stage where you both are ripping each other to shreds to the point of no return.

hope you feel better soon
shinxx

[quote]Sorry, but I have to let this out

this part especially

Quote:

But it gets worse... in the argument, he made a dig about me not getting access to the car anymore (his folks gave it to us) and I responded by saying he shouldn't be let out in it anyway (a guy rear-ended him last week). All very nasty.

I am sorry too but i was LOL too, it is funny the way you said it.

I think that it was said out of the heat of the moment, I would say that it will all blow over tonight, maybe suggest going out for a drink just to clear things up. He didnt mean what he said about having a small group of friends that's probley all he could come up with after you said that funny comment..

It will all be ok tonight pet...big hug xxxx dont worry about it today

its happy friday :-)

Agree with all the above. It was all said in the heat of the moment.....

Feck the nice dinner. When he gets home, be naked. Maybe with a beer in each hand. That'll cheer him up!

As he said, horibleness leads to more horribleness! You said the most nasty thing you could think of to upset him and he did the same to you. You didnt mean it but you knew it would hurt him, and I'm sure he said it for the very same reason. Hopefully you'll be able to sort it out, and hopefully he'll have the cop on to apologise!

Well, you know what they say...

How do you please a man?

1. Arrive naked.
2. Bring beer.


Men! 8-|

I think I'd have a chat with him too and let him know that the comment hurt you. Admittedly you shouldn't have said what you did, but I think his comment is a bit personal. I'm not saying he really meant it or that its anything to worry about, but obviously it is bothering you if you decided to post here. I think a little chat will sort it all out and as another poster said I'm sure he'll be feeling guilty too when he realises what he's said, and how he hurt you. I also think he should be filling that car for you! He's going to have to learn how to do it sometime!!

You both said some means things but you apologised for yours. He really dug deep and came up with a nast, bitchy comment, one he knew would really hit a nerve with you. And he still has not apologised. Men are very sensitive when it comes to driving and as a new driver myself I know how scary the petrol pump can be but he was waaaaayyyy out of liine with his llittle comment.

I am really worried by the fact that you don't think you have the right to be upset about this. And I can't believe some people suggested you get naked and bring him a beer. WFT? this is 2006 not 1966! Why should you pander to him like that when he is now the one in the wrong, the ball is in his court and he hasn't made an apology. Are you going to let him speak to you like that for the rest of your marriage? I am afraid if you don't take a stand on this now you will be setting down a precedent. Just let him know that you are not impressed with his comment and you are waiting for an apology, and don't back down on it. Tell him if he doesn't like it he can hop in the car back to Mammy and Daddy where they can fill the tank for him for the rest of his single life.

i feel sorry for ya sunsparks, that comment about friends going to the wedding was well below the belt. I would be seriously p1ssed off with that if my H2B said it to me. He should definitely be apologising to you. I agree with skippy about what previous posters said i.e cook him a meal and lick up to him....he should be doing that to you!

I thinks its crazy that people are laughing at this. You insulted his driving...big deal. He's a learner driver so he can't think he's brilliant at it. Why is he scared of a petrol station? Was he abandoned at one as a child? What he said was way worse so he should be making naked dinner for you. Tell him to apologise or fuck off and that in future he should get the petrol.