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Hi girls,

I need some advice about my sister. She is 5 years younger than me and we never really got on that well. But in the last couple of years we have been getting on better. At my Dad's wedding last year, I had a fight with my boyfriend (now fiance). And my sister shouted at me in front of lots of people telling me that I treat him really badly. First of all, she knew nothing about our relationship, and had no idea that the fight was his fault...

Anyway, I forgave her a month after and blamed it on her being jealous of the close relationship I have with him. So, I got engaged in January this year. 5 weeks later, on my birthday, my mum rings me to tell me that my sister got engaged. My sister didn't even tell me herself. She sent me a txt later that night saying 'I got engaged. He he he'. i was fuming but said nothing. She was only with her boyfriend 9 months and was only 22. Not that age matters, but my point is they could have waited a little while until I had had my day in the sun...

So I book my wedding and start planning it. Everyone is all excited.... My sister announces she's pregnant. Once again, limelight whipped away from me...

Last weekend I took her shopping so she could try on bridesmaid dresses before she gets too big. I found the most perfect dress and was having such an exciting day. We met our Dad and stepmum and it was all wedding talk. I mentioned something about getting a babysitter for the wedding day and she went ballistic saying there's no way she's leave her child with anyone. So I asked would she still be able to be bridesmaid and she said sure, as long as she didn't have to do anything...

Later I made a joke about a maternity bra and she lost the plot and stormed out. Ruining my happy dress day...

I later texted her to ask if she was ok and she replied with how dare I make a joke etc. etc. and she wishes she could support me but she can't. She hopes I understand. Basically she doesn't want anything to do with wedding.

I am very upset and angry as I have done nothing but support her all the way. And I 'm sorry if this sounds selfish but the last thing I want is to be saying my vows to the sounds of a baby screaming. I don't want children or babies at the wedding. Is that wrong?

If you don't want children at your wedding, that's your perogative.

Could you suggest to her, nice as pie that seeing she's pregnant, perhaps it would be earier for her if she wasn't your bridesmaid? You know, to reduce her stress and anxiety? Tell her you're wrried about her and would feel awful putting any pressure of any kind on her, etc.....

Thanks for that.

I do like kids, but I don't think a wedding ceremony is the best place for babies.

When I have calmed down enough to talk to her, I will use your suggestion. Frankly I don't care if she's there or not. But I know it would upset my Mum and Dad etc....

you were engaged 5 weeks before she announced her and you are complaining that you didn't have your "day in the sun"-sorry but can't understand this-you had 5 weeks in the sun!!!!!!!

I hardly think she got pregnant on purpose to annoy you?

What age will the baby be when you marry? First of all young babies sleep for over 18 hours a day. Second of all I think it is unreasonable to expect your own sister to leave such a young baby behind on the day.

Ok, I understand your opinion Maryc, but I didn't have enough space to fill in all the history with my sister.

The pregnancy was no accident. And considering that they 'have no intention of getting married any time in the next 5 years', why get engaged??? Personally, we got engaged because we wanted to get married. Why else do people get engaged? She did it because she has an 'anything you can do....' attitude. Her bloody ring is identical to mine.

And if they had no intention of marrying soon, I think they could have waited a while longer. The people who know me and know my sister, they know what she's like.

I wouldn't want to share my engagement with anyone. If I was her, I would have waited until my wedding was over.

And yes, I actually want a whole year in the sun. Not just 5 weeks. I only plan on getting married once and from the day I got my ring until the day I say 'I do', it is my time....

Hi Nantes,

The baby will be 6 months old. And I never expected her to leave it behind. I simply suggested that she get a babysitter to the hotel for the day. I reminded her that at my Aunt's wedding, I was 5 years old and she was 2 months old, and we spent the day in the hotel room. No problems.

I think we'll all have to agree to disagree on this one. I just needed to let off steam about her. There sin't actually enough space in thiss whole forum to write the reasons why I am annoyed at her....

Thanks anyway...

fair enough but I hardly think that we can give our thoughts on something when you only tell us 10% of the story

Ok Mrskp,

Obviously this was a mistake to post this. None of you know my sister and I haven't the time or the energy to explain why I am so annoyed with her. It goes back years.

I come from a broken family and was the scapegoat for my mother's alcoholism. My mother told me from a very young age that I was useless and would never amount to anything. Repeatedly, every day for most of my life. So I had no childhood to speak of. My sister was the angel because she didn't stand up to my Mum and tell her she was drunk.

I have had this on my back my whole life and I don't think I'm selfish for wanting one year of my life to be all about me. And not all about divorce, drinking, shouting etc.

I am lucky enough that I found a wonderful man to see past all the years of anger inside me. He loves me for who I am and proved I am not completely useless. So yes, I want everything to be all about me for one year of my life.

I never thought I would find this happiness. And I did so I want to celebrate it...

Sorry if I pi**ed anyone off..

I totally agree with you MRSKP!!! The amount of people that think that just because they are now engaged the world should stop turning and people should put their lives on hold is ridiculous!! It's been said before that while your wedding may be the most important day in your life, it's not for other people!!


I wish some people would wake up and realise that!

Ok Marla,

Point taken. I wake up and realise that nobody cares about my wedding but me. So why does everyone post in here looking for advice, if none of the other people in here care?

Sorry to have made you so angry.

Oh yes, completely Bridezilla and selfish. I agree with that. I know I'm going to be selfish for the next year.