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Hi girlies,

I'm in a bit of a tough spot at the moment and would love to hear what you think..

I'm getting married next September and am really looking forward to it. and plans are coming together nicely... well, until now

My cousin is my bridesmaid and her marraige has *just* broken down and I'm not sure what to do. While I was hoping to keep progressing with plans for the big day, I don't want to be a complete heartless bridezilla who is more concerned about my day than anyone else. I'd actually feel bad about it myself. We haven't spoken about it as she lives in the UK - my aunt rang to fill me in on some of the details.. Lucky too, as I was just about to ring her up about going BM dress shopping. I'd imagine shes very confused/raw about the whole thing at the moment. My heart aches for her, and I don't know what to say or do. I'd imagine that the family would take dim view of us announcing our date in the same time as all this too. I don't want to lose her as a BM (unless she no longer wants to be one) but don't want to upset her or the family.

Has anyone been in this situation before? I'm kind of lost

Call her and ask her everything in your post. She's the only one who knows how she feels and it's her you should be asking. Next September is a long time away - I'm sure she'll be pleased to be your bridesmaid!

I'd hold off talking about your wedding for a while to her and call her to talk about her own situation give her a couple months and maybe then you could broach your wedding with her in the meantime you can suss out the type of bridesmaids dresses you want. If it comes to it you may have to pick someone else but you have plenty of time to worry about that there is not the same wait on bridesmaids dresses as wedding dresses by a long shot.

There's plenty of time yet to get the bridesmaid dresses ... the last time I was one, they ordered them in November, and the wedding was in April.

Things are still pretty raw for her right now, so leave the dust settle for her for a few weeks.

As for being a bridesmaid, the wedding is ages away yet and a lot will have happened in her life by then so don't worry about it. I'm sure right now that your wedding is the last thing on her mind, but come the time she will be delighted to be there for you on the day.

Call her and let her decide the direction your conversation takes - she might want to talk about it or she may not. She may welcome your wedding as a distraction... who knows???

EIther way, call her and let her know you're thinking about her