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Thanks NoHurry,

I know what you mean. Am just having a tough time organising it with family and stuff. I'm very stressed. And I guess I do have people around me that care. I just forget that they all have stuff going on in their lives too.

Hopefully can leave this topic behind now...

*Poof*

Consider it left!

Alisonjane - I think your sister sounds like a real hard-nosed so and so who can't see green cheese! You deserve your time, and for her to stomp off on you last Saturday and ruin your day was just rude and selfish. I think we all want to have our time in the sun, maybe not a full year, but sure, it's nice to have the limelight on us for a while, especially when it doesn't happen to you regularly. Your wedding day is going to be the most important day of your life, and you deserve to be made a fuss of.

I think that for some reason, you seemed to attract the more negative posters today! And I think that we all like to have our special time in the run-up to our wedding. And I'm sure they were made a fuss of when they made their announcements. So don't worry about the negative responses, as you have other people on here who completely sympathise with you and hope that no-one ruins your day.

Sunbeam xx

I agree with sunbeam. This is your time and your sister should be left to gloat in her tiny little world with her tiny little mind. Life is too short to be dealing with wanna-be's like your sister and try not to let her get to you, same applies to the Negative Family posting here today - give the girl a break
By simply ignoring her it will drive her crazy as she seems to like all the attention. Let her go to the wedding, but by no means should someone who upsets you so much be your bridesmaid nor should she have any say or input in your wedding.
Hope it all works out for you and try not to let it get to you

MRSKP - it wasn't any poster specifically I was talking about. It was just that there was a stream of negative posts for something that was a genuine complaint. Perhaps but, since I read all of the posts in one go, I was able to see the fullk story, however, even after alisonjane explained, there were still some people who wanted to berate her for her feelings. As I said in my post, perhaps we don't all expect a full year in the sun, but we do like some attention and enthusiasm from our families and friends, and when people go out of their way to deliberately shun your "moment", I think it's just bad form.

My concern was that other people have posted simlar problems in the past, and they have got encouragement from other forum members, however, for some reason, this post seemed to be singled out for negativity. I just felt that there were little or no comments of support for alisonjane and she deserved some. On other threads, there would have been a mix of negative and postive comments, so I felt that I should try to show some support. I am lucky that I have the support of most of my family and would like to show that there is support out there for all of us on this forum.

Sorry if I offended anyone as this was not my intention, and sorry you felt singled out MRSKP as I definitely didn't want to do that.

Hi Alisonjane, I was feeling sympathetic towards you and I can see why you were mad as hell at your sister. I would have been if I had received a childish text like the one you said you received from her. I mean, "I got engaged he he he" - pardon? She might as well have said, "Na-na-na-na-na-naaaaaah!" She and her guy must a bit lacking in the imagination dept as well to say that her ring is just like yours - jewellers have umpteen designs to prevent that sort of thing happening. Besides, who wants an engagement ring just like somebody else's?

I don't wish to offend anyone who has children from before they were married by saying this but I imagine that when your sister finally marries, she'll do so amid lots of remarks from your extended family that they thought she might hold out until the child was old enough to give her away. And when you mentioned to her about the maternity bra, why was she so annoyed about that? She's pregnant or does she think that she won't see changes in her bust size as time goes on? I hope you have a lovely wedding and don't forget that all eyes will be on you and your H2B so Little Ms Wannabe will have to live with that, even if she turns up in a low-cut or clingy Herv� L�ger style number (can't imagine that happening though).

IMO there's 3 sides to every story.... your version, her version and the truth. TBH she does sound like a bit of a nightmare but as a few people have pointed out, no-one is ever going to be as consumed with your day as you are so my advice is suck it up and let her at it.

Tell her it's entirely up to her if she wants to be involved in the day but you need to know sooner rather than later. Rejoice with her over her pregnancy..... after all it's a pretty huge event that's happening in her life too

And lastly, don't take the comments on here to heart. You asked if you were over-reacting so don't be insulted when people say "actually yes!"

Alison Jane I just pm'd you !

I think I can understand where you're coming from with all of this. TBH it sounds like there's other unresolved issues with you and your sister from when you were growing up. Children of alcoholics have a very tough time emotionally (speaking from personal experience unfortuantely). Do you usually get on well? If not, then it's probably time to do your own thing and not be dwelling on your sister. By the way, my sister is pregnant and due about 3 months before the wedding. She is also one of my bridesmaids and will be doing nothing to help as she will have enough to be doing. I've told her that as long as she can get herself to the church and walk up the aisle and appear in the photos that the rest of the day she can spend with her partner and baby and toddler if that's what she prefers! I haven't even suggested a babysitter as I know that there's no way she'd be interested. Anyway, I hope things go better for you but if not, try not to let it take away from your happiness about being engaged to a fantastic guy

Thanks guys for the support. Had a good chat with H2B last night about the whole thing. I didn't realise I was so upset about my sister not supporting me. As soon as I found out she was pregnant, I called her and offered any help. I went and bought her vitamins and gave her baggy clothes I had. I gues I just expected some support in return.

I don't really want a whole year in the sun, that was just an angry reaction to some of the comments. When I marry my South African man, I will have a whole life in the sun !! And I never expected the world to stop turning just because I got engaged. I know people have their own stuff going on in their lives. All I wanted was for people to acknowledge that I am happy, as I've spent most of my life being miserable.

Thanks to everyone for the advice. I really do appreciate it. I'm really not a Bridezilla at all. I promise. Just needed to let off steam yesterday.

Glad you're feeling better today Alison