hey gingerbride, firstly i really feel your anguish and theres nothing as horrible in the world. can i just say, i really think your underestimating your own strength here and your actually tougher than you think believe it or not. i went through something like that and it was the very same thing. i was madly in love with my best friend and my mind convinced myself that we were solemates. it was a horrible, anxious time and i couldnt envisage myself moving on from this person. its only in the last two years that those feelings have completely, completely dissapeared and i never thought id see the day that id feel like that. this person was my best friend and i had such awful knots in my stomach whenever we met up for a drink etc.
Gingerbride, i know you dont see this now and its terribly confusing for you but trust its a simple case of lifes way of testing you and maturing your mind if you get me. i hope i dont sound condesending by the way. naturally if you have this other person texting you, contacting you and throwing profound, desirable propositions at you, itd be hard to consider but thats all exactly that is....notions. imagine the other side of the coin in an unbiaesd frame of mind if you can, that you were living with him and finally got together, i guarantee that it wouldnt be as romantic as your mind has convinced you itd be. the reality never lives up the dream unfortunately. Never mind anyone else for a minute do
yourself one big favour, stop contact with this friend for a while even if that means for you to be firm and distant with him, after a few months you will see that youll quickly recover from him. you chose your h2b for a reason, i think all thats happend now is that youve lost sight of that reason.
pm me any time you like and trust your own strength
shinxx