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Ask WOL -Your Wedding Dilemmas Solved

Sick of your bridesmaids? Can’t find the right venue? Or still having feelings for an ex? We answer your wedding dilemmas, big or small.

"Hi,

I’m having a bit of a problem with negativity around my wedding! My sister and two of my best friends are my bridesmaids. Because of work and other obstacles, most of their opinions on my plans have been given by email ie. for my hair and makeup trials I took photos and emailed them. They haven’t really been around in person for anything. Anyway, I just find they are really critical about anything I mail them to do with the wedding! When I had my makeup trial they said "you could look nicer", and when I showed them pictures of my hair one said "it’s just ok - it’s not wow". They haven’t said anything positive about anything! I know it’s good to get honest feedback on these things, but I'm just sick of them! What should I do?"

Anon

They are your friends and I’m sure you want to do anything you can to have them involved with your wedding preparations, but all they seem to do is bring you down! There are two main questions you have to ask yourself here; 1) Do you really want their honest opinion? If you’ve answered yes, then you have to take what they have said and not complain about it, after all, it’s their opinion! 2) Are you just looking for assurance? If you’ve answered yes to this then you have to let them know. If you want them to get excited about your details but to keep their ‘negative’ opinions to themselves, then tell them! If you are happy with things yourself then what does it matter if they think you could get it ‘a little more perfect’? Do what you want to do and don’t give them a chance to nay say it. You probably have a picture in your head of what you want your day, your dress, your make-up to be like, trust in yourself and you’ll be all the happier for it!

See 'The Bothersome Bridesmaid' article for more advice on troubling bridesmaids

The WOL Girls x


"Hey,

I want to have something different for my wedding. I know, I know, every bride says they want something ‘different’ but I really want to have my ceremony in a building that isn’t a registry office or a hotel. I have nothing against either type of venue, I’m just having a look at different options. Is it possible to get married in somewhere like a museum?"

Anon


Hi!

You’re in luck! There are so many places currently approved for civil ceremonies but you can also contact the Registry Office for the district your chosen venue is located and have it approved by them. You should note the following when you are looking: An additional fee for a civil ceremony held in a venue other than a Registry Office, the ceremony room must have adequate capacity to accommodate, comfortably seated, the numbers attending the ceremony; Only venues that allow unrestricted public access without charge will be considered for approval, subject to normal security and health and safety considerations; the venue in which the ceremony room is situated must conform to all the requirements of any venue open to the public in respect of planning permission, certificate of fire safety, and must meet all relevant health and safety requirements; The ceremony room, and the venue in which it is situated must have adequate public liability insurance cover; The ceremony room must be accessible to all, in particular to persons with disabilities; The venue must have no recent or continuing connection with any religion, religious practice or religious persuasion which would be incompatible with the use of the venue for the solemnization of civil marriages; The place in which marriage may be solemnized must be a fixed structure that is clearly identifiable by description and location as a distinct part of a venue.

Read the Legislation HERE on WOL or Search our Alternative Wedding Venues in Ireland

Best of luck in your search!
The WOL Girls x


 

"Myself and my husband can’t decide on a budget for the wedding, every time I tell him ‘this costs that’, he says it’s ridiculous. He just doesn’t understand how much things cost and it’s so frustrating. At the moment I feel bad for telling him the price of anything, like my shoes or my headdress even, because he’ll make me feel stupid for buying them. What can I do to make him understand that we can’t just have a wedding for €100!?"

Anon

I’m sure there are plenty of people who sympathise with your predicament! What you need to do, first and foremost, is agree a realistic budget with each other, only then will you be able to move on swiftly with your plans and bookings. Look at what you both want to get out of the day, and what is important to both of you. You may both have to sacrifice things to get the most out of your day but it will be worth it if you do it as a team. Weddings aren’t cheap, but you also don’t want to be holding grudges against you hubby for years to come because you scrimped on costs just to have a more smooth life. Research costs together, weigh up the cost and the value, and that way you’ll both know you’ve done your best to keep to your budget while still having the best day you can, and preserving the memories.

See article For Richer, For Poorer. How to Organise your Finances as a Couple


 

"Hi,

I don't even know where to start this. I'm getting married next year. I've been going out with my fiancé for three years, I'm really excited about getting married and have booked and planned everything to the T. This is where it gets tricky. My ex boyfriend plays on my mind a lot. We went out with each other for three years and he was the first guy I ever really loved. We split up six years ago because he felt he was too young to settle down. I see him regularly and occasionally go out with him socially. He recently split up with his girlfriend of three years, they were living together. A few weeks before they split up he told me that he's never stopped thinking about me and that he loves everything about me. I met him again last week and every time I meet him I get weak at the knees. I know my fiancé will make a fantastic husband and father for the rest of my life. My head says stick with my fiancé because he's so great my heart says cancel all the wedding plans and run off with my ex."

Anon

This is a very important and risky dilemma you have found yourself in. While planning their wedding, many people begin to think more about past relationships, this happens as they leave the person they were behind, to go on with life as a twosome. They often think about ex boyfriends/girlfriends -how young and carefree they were in the relationship, how different the person was from their current other half, or even how lucky they were to get away. Most of the time, people look back through rose-tinted glasses at these periods in their lives. They were younger, and their relationship was maybe a little less serious than their current relationship. This is a dangerous road you have found yourself on Nicola, because you have gone several steps further than others by seeing your ex and having these conversations. You know as well as anyone that a relationship needs more than for the other person to make you ‘weak at the knees’, it needs trust, stability, respect and love. It seems that your ex is making your life very hard for you, maybe purposely. More importantly, what you are doing isn’t fair to your fiancé, who appears to be a great man from what you have said. You may owe it to yourself, and your fiancé to take a break from wedding planning, and decide what you really want (notice that is ‘what’ you want, and not ‘who’ you want). Think if your ex turned around tomorrow and said he found another woman, and was completely over you. You would be left with nothing. Are you okay with that? Are you prepared for everything to fall apart around you, of your own doing? People ditch their weddings and run into the sun with another person sometimes, but the movie often ends there, and no one knows what happened or how it worked out. Be realistic and true to yourself. In the end you’ll see who you want to be.

See Relationship Forum for advice from girls who've been through similar

Wishing you all the best,
The WOL Girls x

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