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Rebuilding after infidelity thoughts

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Rebuilding after infidelity thoughts

Postby survivor12 » Fri Mar 23, 2022 11:21 am

Hi everyone

Short version hopefully!!
I was cheated on by my boyfriend of 6 years almost 2 years ago and to say that i was devestated would be an understatement, and something i could never have imaginged would happen to us as we really had a great thing going with plans for the future etc etc etc.. he is a kind caring honest individual and id say to this day he does not know what came over him ANYWAY.....................................................

i decided that i did not want to lose him as basically what we had was good and he did all the necessary things he could do to put us back together and we still are together and for the most part i am happy that we did this..

here is the thing.... and maybe only people who this has happened to will understand or be able to answer... its so different, i see him as different i see me as different our life together is different, not different bad or anything just different, different from before when i was overflowing with raw admiration, love and a sense that this man could do nothing wrong :o(

Things i never noticed about him smally tiny things that kind of grate on me i notice now were they always there?? and i just didnt see.

I am 38 and he is 40 he was married and has 2 sons who live with us week on week off and who i love too, we do not have any kids together! we have a lovely home a nice life and we are not short of much thank god!

I want my life to be with him its just so hard when i saw it as untarnished for as long as i did pure unquestioning innocence in love!! more fool me eh?

Anyway i am hoping some one of you out there may know what i am taking about and maybe you could let me know if what i am feeling is normal?? is this what happens? do you stop comparing this new life with the old one that you were so in love with?? does it get easier ? is there something wrong with me that i am still wondering this after nearly 2 years (may)

Thank you for taking the time to read if you have done :wv
survivor12
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Re: Rebuilding after infidelity thoughts

Postby woolly » Fri Mar 23, 2022 2:06 pm

Hi Survivor, I just think that if you're feeling disillusioned and let down you need to process your feelings for your OH. I have never had to rebuild a relationship after infidelity but i have heard that it's possible but very difficult to get past the feelings of anger and loathing. It's not a bad thing that you notice flaws in your OH, we all have them, but since he's irritating you it might be time to talk to a counsellor who might be able to help you decide if you want to go on together.
Good luck with everything :)
woolly
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