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kissed someone on night out

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Re: kissed someone on night out

Postby snowbride13 » Fri May 11, 2022 8:09 am

Mustang Sally wrote:I wouldn't tell.

If it were my OH and he had kissed someone else but really regretted it I'd rather not know. If he told me I'd think it was actually selfish of him - It'd be torture knowing your OH had been unfaithful and why should I have to know about it and have to deal with the emotional upheaval just for the sake of him having a clear conscience?

I think on the long road of marriage, temptation is always going to happen. If it was just a kiss and you regret it fully and still want to be with your husband 100% then keep it to yourself and deal with the guilt yourself. That's just my opinion but every couple is different and I realise some people may think my thinking is daft!

+1
Everyones different, your going to have to figure out if you can live with it and put it behind you knowing it really was one stupid mistake that shocked you into realising how much you love your OH and like above , would you want to know? I wouldnt, Id actually prefer it if my OH lived with his guilt instead of ruining my happiness. Sometimes people just make mistakes, it doesnt mean theres an underlying issue there. And you know what sometimes you can draw a line under your mistake and just get on with your life. Any one whos been cheated on and is still holding grudges about it wont agree. Ive been cheated on in past and i didnt like being told. (In the end he was an ididot regardless of being a cheater.) if your truly sorry and really believe it wont happen again and he wont find out then i would keep it to yourself.
good luck what ever you decide to do!
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Re: kissed someone on night out

Postby wollysocks » Sun May 13, 2022 10:52 pm

I wouldn't tell if I were you. I think it is actually harder not to tell because having that on your conscience can be harder than just getting it off your chest and telling your husband and dealing with the consequences. However, I don't think it will be better for him- just cause him heartache which he doesn't deserve.

Being married does not mean you will never be attracted to anybody again or even on occasion really tempted to act on it. Alcohol, while not an excuse does affect our judgement and I'll bet most of us have done/said things under the influence that we would never do while sober.

I can't see the benefit of your husband knowing except perhaps making him distrustful of you and causing a huge amount of stress and pressure in your marriage. I think if my husband had kissed somebody in circumstances like this, it was a once-off mistake and there was no chance anybody else knew, I would rather he didn't tell me. What really would I gain by this knowledge? The only time I would want to know is if there is any chance at all, other people knew and were talking about it- I would definitely need to know in that situation.

If I were you I would keep quiet, appreciate my husband and learn my lesson well.
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Re: kissed someone on night out

Postby hils138 » Mon May 14, 2022 9:16 am

Firstly you have to think about if the shoe was on the other foot. Would you want to know? Would you be able to forgive him? Would you trust your OH again if it was him?

As many posters have said, each relationship is different. Some couples don't consider it cheating unless you go "the whole way" and others consider it cheating if there is flirting etc. And only you know how strong your relationship is and if it will suffer as a result of this.

The most important thing to remember is it isn't a secret if two people know and while you think the other guy will tell no one, what if he gets drunk and blurts it out to someone? It would hurt a lot more if your husband was told by someone else. Also please remember this is already affecting your relationship as it the guilt is eating away at you.

I hope whatever option you take that you can put this behind you.


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