Disappointed

by **Shilanne** » Sat Sep 24, 2022 7:48 am

I could be banned or ex-communicated for thsi but here goes :roll:

Maybe this should be in the Letting Off steam section but ...Y'know? I read the posts last week regarding the 50 cent / B2b posts - and read how a lot of you were angry ( understandable) and disappointed ( understandable) .... I purposely didnt get involved as I would just have been adding to the hassle.....But when I first came on to this website it was a haven for advice - good advice ( And I thank you all for that), a place where you didnt have to watch every word you said - what your spelling was like etc... And more importantly - not afraid to share your deepest darkest fears, situations, annoyances etc.

But more and more I am coming accross threads where sarcastic comments are being made, people are being chastised - and for me the straw that broke the camels back is the one where another B2B has had a pop at bridget for a comment she made on mortgages - Passing comments on previous quote re: her H2B, sexlife, and general status in life. Come ON. Eveyone here - who frequents this website - can we not - make a concerted effort - to be nice - not to drag up other posts by B2Bs more vulnerable moments and just lets take everything at face value.
I hope this is making sense and you will either strongly agree with me or disagree. BUT I love ! this chat forum and used to go away with only a good feeling - Now - I look at some posts and think jeezuz girls just let it go. Lets bring the standard of the site back up to where it should be !! For advice for sharing stories - and if you have nothing nice to say - then ...Well .. I am sure your mother has told you :| Fingers crossed

by **doris** » Sat Sep 24, 2022 8:30 am

Shilanne,
I have to agree with you. I have been reading the bridget chain and tried to give some helpful advice bit I noticed that a lot of people were not there for that, but to say how much money they spent on their rings. I mean it's nice to be able to share the excitement about how fabulous and expensive the ring was but I really cannot see how is that helps bridget. the discussion has gone way beyond rings but never the less it comes back to that and I have to say I feel a little uncomfortable about it. You're right, everybody wants to feel comfortable and secure and safe here and not be ridiculed.

by **Shilanne** » Sat Sep 24, 2022 8:43 am

Hi Doris - glad to hear you agree - and yes - ridicule is teh word I was looking for - no one like to be ridiculed for annnything no matter what ! Anyway - Thanks for that heres hoping our website is a ridicule free zone from here on in :wink:

by ***Smajra*** » Sat Sep 24, 2022 9:07 am

Hi girls,
I have to admit I feel like this site has changed lately and not for the better. I don't post as much and I find that actual wedding related threads don't get a great response anymore as everyone spends most of their time in Off Topic. I have to admit I spend a lot of time there too as I think that general chit chat and a bit of fun is essential in the middle of all this wedding planning but a lot of members lately seem to be so quick to get bitchy. I haven't seen the thread by Bridget so I'll look it up when I'm finished this but I was really botherd by Fleur's little outburst in Stockbrokingbrides thread about her earrings. I cant believe she tried to cause a class divide on the site saying the things she did. I don't like the way lately everyone was asked to state their social status by declaring their income etc. When I first joined this site I loved it as it felt like we were all here for each other because we're all in the same position, planning our weddings, but lately its reached the point were there's issues between certain members, despite not actually knowing each other, and an awfull lot of threads get at least one nasty response no matter what the topic is. This may all have started with the 50cent posts but it was just an opportunity for some members to show their true colours and they have continued to carry the bitchiness on.
I for one feel the spirit of the place is dead and we're the only ones who can bring it back by making a conscious effort to stop all this nastiness.

by **MTMR** » Sat Sep 24, 2022 10:26 am

mrs dtb

I can not agree more, there was a stage where I would physically miss being logged on, but lately with the comments that are floating around I'm not that fussed. I log on to see how certian people are doing, mrs h to b is a prime example, I was so disappointed to hear about the problems she was having with her hotel etc. but this site should no be used to upset other users.

by **Grainne20** » Sat Sep 24, 2022 11:39 am

It definitely has changed, its like there are certain types of people who bring out the worse in others and there has been a terrible clash here lately. Its sad, because preivously that kind of stuff was happening once like every three months, now its so common it awful. This too is going to stop new uesers from wanting to continue using the site!!! :cry:

by **beaker** » Sun Sep 25, 2022 9:04 am

I agree. People are getting slated for posting the most innocent wedding related things. There seems to be some competition for who can come out with the with bitchiest remark. Can we just not be glad that somebody has found their shoes, underwear, favours etc and is passing on information that might be useful to somebody else. We dont need to know what people earn, their Htb earns, what side of the city they live on and what kind of car they drive. At the end of the day we are all in the same boat here - ie organising a wedding and the trials and tribulations that go with that. We should be here to support one another - not rip each other to shreds - regardless of who they are.

by **shellem** » Sun Sep 25, 2022 6:07 pm

i agree with every word but would be afraid to say too much these days as someone is liable to jump 'flame' you so to speak! I don't log on as much anymore - i was even a bit nervous telling my dress debacle story but there are still some lovely people here so that's why i still come back I suppose! I wouldn't post half as much as I did do...wedding five weeks away so that will be the end of me I think! It's a pity cos I, like yeah all, loved this place too.....

by **Duchess Snow** » Sun Sep 25, 2022 6:26 pm

its such a pity a few can ruin it for the majority i'm new to the site and have already found it fantastic and has helped me with sso much of my planning as i wouldn't have had a clue where to begin. i said it before in a previous thread the likes ofyou shellem are what make this site what it is as you can offer the advice to us only starting out on our planning. i hope it doesn't happen that you guys go cause then there would be no point in the likes of me logging in.

just want to say thanks while i'm here to all you that have posted things that have already helped me and i hope there will be plenty more.

by **naynay** » Sun Sep 25, 2022 7:55 pm

Have to say agree with you all.

Must say some threads are a little bit too ott! :shock: Houses, money and what you have seem to be the be all and end all.

Feels a little bit the same here at the mo... :|

Correct me if I'm wrong.

by **noddy1** » Mon Sep 26, 2022 6:40 am

i agree - I dunno about the offensive thread cause i can safely say i am not reading half of them these days - anything looking like a row and i am out of there. Its a waste of my time reading such twoddle and i can't imagine why brides to be as swamped with organising as they are, would waste their time lowering themselves to start or get involved with the bitchin.

just my 2 cents

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