New member planning BUDGET wedding

happieout · by **happieout** » Wed May 09, 2022 7:47 pm

Fair play, sounds like a great plan. I recently got an email invitation to a wedding so that's another option. It was lovely worded and did the job just as well.
I would think 200 could be tight for your outfit, are you going with a white dress?
Hope all goes well, keep us posted. I think it's lovely to see someone prepared to spend more on their ceremony than their own appearance. I didn't do that! But as another poster pointed out, you probably don't need to!

Coogee · by **Coogee** » Wed May 09, 2022 8:39 pm

Again - thanks for all the replies, tips and advice.

Don't want to spend on a photographer - as I'm not investing a huge amount of money to make us look gorgeous I don't see the point. Great photos of us all looking only semi-ok would upset me more! A friend has a great camera and a good eye and I know if I ask her she'll take a few photos as a wedding present. Another friend is a professional photographer and is also a guest - I actually won't ask her cos it would feel like work to her but I know she'll send me any pics she takes herself and they're always great.
I have sucky-in knickers and fab shoes that would go with this dress:
file:///C:/Users/Gillian/Documents/White%20Sheath%20Floor-length%20Sweetheart%20Dress%20Shop%20Online.htm
It wouldn't be a dress I'd be mad about but it does the job for under 100 euro and the reason I like it is I could re-wear it to a black-tie event - I have to go to 2 or 3 a year through work so whatever dress I buy I'll be looking to see can it double up for those events. The only extra thing I would get is maybe one of those why furry jacket thingies and/or muff - I'd happily by sparkly clips for my hair in Claire's and and I don't really want a veil. It's not THE dress yet - sure I haven't booked the church - but it's proof to me that I can be dressed for under 200. Funny, my SIL spent about 30,000 on her wedding but her dress only cost 150 euro!
I know I'd save a lot by going for a civil service but a Church wedding is important to me. I know - hypocrite with 3 kids already - but I broke my Dad's heart when I got pregnant 14 years ago - I know he really feels uncomfortable with Registry Office weddings - I don't know how long he has left. I'd like him to walk me down the aisle. Plus - we're not devout but we do practise - go to Mass most Sundays and get on well with the local priest. I wish I'd baked him loads of apple tarts over the last 14 years - it might have led to a bit of discount.

Fiance will freak if he hears how much the Church is!

Finicky Fi · by **Finicky Fi** » Wed May 09, 2022 8:44 pm

Coogee - to be honest, it sounds like you're settling rather than having what you actually want.
Don't set yourself up for regret anyways.

Coogee · by **Coogee** » Wed May 09, 2022 8:48 pm

Sorry - forgot to reply to the hotel question.

The plan is to hold the reception in a restaurant over a pub - and the party in an adjacent function room. There is a hotel within walking distance from the pub - only 3 minutes in a taxi for any elderly, tipsy parents. Fiance's parents could in theory go home - 15 minutes in a taxi at most - but if they want to pay for a room at the hotel that'll be up to them. My parents live two hours away - the plan is for my sister - who offered - to pay for their room as a Christmas present. It's not an expensive hotel - but it's actually lovely. We will probably put a few people up in our house - everyone else can stay in the hotel at their own expense.

Smileykaz · by **Smileykaz** » Wed May 09, 2022 8:51 pm

Coogee - just to say, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but...don't spend even a penny on a dress you're not mad about. The price of the dress doesn't matter, you're right, that's a fact. But it should be a dress you really love. It's your wedding dress, a really special dress and one you'll look back on for all the years of your life. Please please PLEASE get a dress you love.

There are so many things on your wedding day you can't control, things go wrong, the beef is tough at the meal, you know? But you CAN control how you feel about your dress by picking one you love. I don't mean that you have to start crying when you see it, or get feel it's 'the one' but you really should look in the mirror and think 'That's lovely, I love that, I look great'.

So budget budget budget by all means, you'll have a lovely day no matter what you spend, but indulge me, PLEASE get a dress you love. Have that one thing, PLEASE! (Can you tell I'm a hopeless romantic?!)

by **ontheway** » Wed May 09, 2022 8:55 pm

Fair play to you. Check out about the church before you start worrying. My parish didnt have an actual fee just asked on a booklet given to us by the PP for a donation of whatever we could afford. We gave €250 for church and PP (he concelebrated with friend of DH family, didnt have too we could still have used the church but I wanted him to) other priest €100, sacristan €50, we found a girl who played piano and sang beautifully for €150. Oh and both priests came to the reception for dinner.

I cant see the dress but if you are not certain about it, there is plenty of time to keep looking. Not sure if it white/cream but monsoon/debenhams might have something in your price range. I have to agree with SK, I was all about not going mad on the dress, if you seen the plainest dress in the room that was what i wanted but then ended up with this fab lace creation that I adored and smile whenever I see a pic of me (and I never like how I look in pics)

happieout · by **happieout** » Wed May 09, 2022 8:58 pm

Totally agree with smileykaz about the dress!
Also about the photos, you won't just look ok, you're marrying the love of your life, having your three lovely children there, it'll be magical. Make sure and capture it!

Coogee · by **Coogee** » Wed May 09, 2022 9:33 pm

I think I lost my reply. So here it goes again:

http://www.dressesonlinesale.co.uk/whit ... ress.html#

Hope that link works. Like I said - not THE dress - just one I found online which would work for what I want - in that I'd like something that could be worn afterwards for a black-tie event.
I know you right about the dress - I promise not to get something unless I feel fabulous in it. But I may have to opt for a non-wedding dress. Or even a hire job. I'm sticking to my 200 euro!

I'm really not 'settling' - as someone put it - I never wanted a wedding so having one at all goes past anything I ever really wanted. We are doing this for our parents and our kids - because we'd like to provide security for our kids should one of us die, and because we don't know how much longer we have our parents and we know they'd love this. Of course we love each other and are committed to each other - a quick ceremony in a registry office followed by a few cocktails and a bite to eat would do me - but our kids and our parents would love a proper wedding and that's why we're doing it. Lack of money is keeping the budget low but I honestly don't want more than what I've outlined. If someone gave me 1,000 extra to spend on the day I'd put it into the food and drink for the party rather than book a photographer or get a better dress.

Vanessa Shanessa Jenkins · by **Vanessa Shanessa Jenkins** » Wed May 09, 2022 9:36 pm

You should check out donedeal, adverts.ie and sellmyweddingdress.net. Lots of second hand dresses on there.

Vanessa Shanessa Jenkins · by **Vanessa Shanessa Jenkins** » Wed May 09, 2022 9:37 pm

I think that dress is lovely!

Finicky Fi · by **Finicky Fi** » Wed May 09, 2022 9:39 pm

Your dress is beautiful.

Sorry - I didn't mean to offend by saying I thought you are settling.
I think you're getting married for very noble reasons.

NittyGritty · by **NittyGritty** » Wed May 09, 2022 9:43 pm

That dress is really lovely and an absolute bargain. Looks like your 200 euro budget may not be so unrealistic after all. Keep us posted.

Coogee · by **Coogee** » Wed May 09, 2022 9:44 pm

I'm really tempted to buy it but I think ultimately I won't buy anything online. You can't know till you try it on and it's just too much hassle to return things. Got a lovely offer already via PM of a dress and two flower girl dresses and I might yet just snap it up - thing is, while the total is under my budget I'd consider it money down the drain as none of the dresses would likely be worn again. I'm holding on to the idea that I could get all 3 dresses to double as party dresses. You're all very polite - I can't believe I've got this far without someone calling me a miserable, mean, tightfisted wench!

Finnicy Fi - relax, no need to say sorry as I'm not one bit offended. I was just trying to explain why we are doing it this way.
And please no-one else say the dress is beautiful or I'll end up bloody buying the thing and hating and it'll be tossed aside and my budget will be blown before I start!
I hope to track every penny I spend here on this thread. From what little research I've done - I've already worked out that most people must spend WAY more than they think they spend - do a rough budget and don't include the little extras which all add up to quite a lot. I want to track it all as sister is probably getting married next year - on a big budget - so it'll be interesting and fun to compare - she won't mind, trust me.

NittyGritty · by **NittyGritty** » Wed May 09, 2022 10:17 pm

Coogee wrote:I want to track it all as sister is probably getting married next year - on a big budget - so it'll be interesting and fun to compare - she won't mind, trust me.

This sentence really stuck out. I admire your reasons for sticking to your budget, spending within your means and getting married for all the right reasons. But, if you're trying to have a budget wedding with the added bonus of sticking it to your sister, it's a little petty and mean (in a different way), Coogee.

Obviously, only you here know your sister, but I don't think I'd be amused if my sibling were trying to make such a point to me. You say she won't mind, but I fail to see how she could be falling down with joy over it. Just as you are allowed and entitled to have the day you want, so is she. Without you pointing out how you achieved the same ends by spending considerably less.

Just an outside opinion (mine) taken from the context of this one sentence (yours).

flor · by **flor** » Wed May 09, 2022 10:25 pm

hi coogee,

just wanted to say i think you're great for the way in which you're taking this on and i hope it all goes well for you!

Just in relation to the dress - it looks lovely in the pic alright, but what you get will probably be a copy of this and you won't know what the quality/finish will be like until you actually get it.... and if it turns out to be a shambles, it will leave you with the hassle of returning & trying to get your money back. I think you're probably on the right track with wanting to see a dress before you buy it, at least then you'll know what you're getting. you should have no problem finding a beautiful dress like that for your budget. maybe keep an eye out for the sales in monsoon or debenhams at the end of the summer also.

keep us updated!

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