by HippyChic » Mon May 07, 2022 3:11 pm
Hey girls, I've been away for the last ages, trying to take my mind off TTC and concentrate on everything else we have going on (work, wedding, Mum's chemo) but I'd love if any of you could perhaps shed some light on this for me. AF is normally like clockwork for me - 28 days and that's it. Once or twice I've gone to 30 days in my cycle and that's MEGA late - I'm more likely to go early (25,26 days) than late. I am now on CD34. Tested with an internet cheapie yesterday afternoon and BFN. This afternoon I went for a wee and when I wiped (apologies for the overshare) there was some pinky-brown CM on the tissue. That's all I have, no full bleeding or anything like that. I'm really confused. I've had AF-type cramps for about a week and a half now, sore boobs for the last few days and lots of creamy-yellow CM. That and my ability to find a dirty top from 2 rooms away on smell alone (no - seriously) had me thinking that by some minor miracle our turn had come and I was pregnant but the BFN and now this slightly bloody CM has assured me that I'm not. There's still a part of me that insists that it could be an implantation bleed that I'm experiencing but surely I'm too far along in my cycle for that? I normally ovulate around CD18. I'm losing it aren't I? It's okay, you can say so.
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by Luka » Mon May 07, 2022 3:31 pm
Hi Hippichic. Hope you are doing ok, & that your mum is feeling ok? Well just from my own experience....my little bit of implantation bleeding was on CD 37. I knew at that stage I was pregnant, because I did a FR. (I did a cheapie too which was BFN..hmm...cheap for a reason!) Anyway there was my positive test on FR & on day 37 I got the implantation bleed. It was light, on & off for a hour. But some people don't get any implantation bleed. Anyway my DS is now 1 Your best bet is FR or Clearblue. Good luck & it sounds like you may have something to share soon
Angel Baby Dec 3rd, 2008, 8 weeks.(heartbeat seen & heard) Angel Baby April 17th, 2009, 10 weeks.(heartbeat seen & heard) Looking after each other, Mammy & Daddy love & miss you always xx
DS Born May 1st, 2011. Welcome, my wonderful Rainbow baby.
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by HippyChic » Mon May 07, 2022 3:49 pm
Thanks for the reply Luka! I'm doing okay, been busy with my new job and love it. Mum's chemo has hit her hard for the first few days but she's doing better today. It's an aggressive cancer so they're treating it aggressively and sure all the bad side-effects from the chemo will be worth it if it helps her to beat this. Just went on a quick knicker check again. Nothing when I wipe now and the pantyliner I threw on has only the smallest, slightest, light pink mark on it. Will get a CB digital or FR on Wed if there's still no sign of AF by then. I feel so silly getting my hopes up after more than 2 years of TTC without success but with all the cr@p we've been dealing with I can't help but feel like we're owed something good happening. Hopefully I'll be back in a few days gushing with good news!
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by hourglass » Mon May 07, 2022 3:57 pm
Fingers crossed for you hippychic
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by Luka » Mon May 07, 2022 4:07 pm
Please God you'll be getting the good news I think you may be getting Will say a prayer for your mum. xx
Angel Baby Dec 3rd, 2008, 8 weeks.(heartbeat seen & heard) Angel Baby April 17th, 2009, 10 weeks.(heartbeat seen & heard) Looking after each other, Mammy & Daddy love & miss you always xx
DS Born May 1st, 2011. Welcome, my wonderful Rainbow baby.
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by Madame bijoux » Mon May 07, 2022 6:38 pm
Hi hippychic, I couldn't read and not reply. I read before about your mum (I'm a regular wollies gone anon for TTC), please God she will get well soon. xx As for your query, I can't really advise as I'm new to the TTC world..... I Have everything crossed for you. I always believe that good things come to those who wait. Will say a prayer for you and your mum xxxx
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by HippyChic » Tue May 08, 2022 5:26 pm
Well girls AF arrived full force last night. After this long TTC I shouldn't have expected anything else really - fool that I am. Really annoyed with myself - I was just starting to come to terms with the idea that I might never experience pregancy, thinking about our other options, whether or not I could deal with the idea of adopting when this happened and now I feel like I'm right back to square one because I was so STUPID as to be hopeful.
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by ninja next » Tue May 08, 2022 8:25 pm
So sorry hippy chick, this ttc is just cruel. Sure you were right not stupid to get your hopes up, you were late!
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by Luka » Tue May 08, 2022 8:54 pm
Ah Hippichic, I'm so sorry. Sometimes the TTC journey is hard in one way or another, look I was 36 having my DS after 2 miscarriages, so there's hope for everyone in the light of my trouble! MY friend was 3 years ttc & we used to be nearly crying to each other- she'd say to me " at least you can get pregnant" & I'd say to her "but you've more time than me", (as she's 4 years younger than me),this went on for years! & how did it end up? My DS & her DD are 3 months apart in age! The moral is, it WILL happen. As impossible as it may seem, it wil happen.
Angel Baby Dec 3rd, 2008, 8 weeks.(heartbeat seen & heard) Angel Baby April 17th, 2009, 10 weeks.(heartbeat seen & heard) Looking after each other, Mammy & Daddy love & miss you always xx
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by mymission » Tue May 08, 2022 10:06 pm
Aww so sorry to hear that Hippychic !!! Thats a pure bummer. What can you do, its a flippin rollercoaster. I was really hoping for your when I read your post. My AF is late this month too (CD52 today) - but it was mega late aswell last time (62 days), so I'm trying not to even think about it. I don't feel any different anyway and I'm sure its on the way. Chin up and try to relax and take it easy.... onwards and upwards to the next cycle
TTC #1, Cycle 11 (Cycle 4 since using CBFM) 1st appoint with Fertility Clinic in June 2012
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by HippyChic » Wed May 09, 2022 10:13 am
Thanks girls, just more annoyed with myself than anything. Luka - I always thought that was how it would be for myself and two friends of mine: one (like me) was simply unable to conceive (though due to a medical condition she knew she had) and one had recurrent m/c's. We'd often vent/rant/cry with one another and support each other through all of this. One now has a beautiful baby girl, and the other is due her little girl later this summer and me? Well, still waiting, and feel like I can't vent/rant/cry with them anymore as they're now on the other side of where I am.
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by Luka » Wed May 09, 2022 10:50 am
Hi Hippichic, I know it's very hard when you see other's pregnant. Both my SIL's were pregnant before I got pregnant again with my DS. I found it very hard to see them with their bumps, but they way I looked at it was, I tried not to have negative/jealous feelings about them, because you never know what can happen to someone else's pregnancy. My SIL's friend lost her baby at 23 weeks. Actually the majority of my friends have had fertility issues, in one way or another. Some were years trying to get pregnant, one had IVF 9 times, a few others had miscarriages like myself, (one friend had 4, another had 3), & another had a late miscarriage at 18 weeks. I'm not saying all this to frighten you, but it is to give you hope, as ALL of these women are mother's now. Sometimes in the face of the most impossible adversity, Joy will prevail. I don't know if you have had any tests, but being preoactive about that is a good idea. I am sending tons of  you way
Angel Baby Dec 3rd, 2008, 8 weeks.(heartbeat seen & heard) Angel Baby April 17th, 2009, 10 weeks.(heartbeat seen & heard) Looking after each other, Mammy & Daddy love & miss you always xx
DS Born May 1st, 2011. Welcome, my wonderful Rainbow baby.
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by Smileykaz » Wed May 09, 2022 12:53 pm
Ah HIppy Chic so sorry. When I read the title of your post I was sure it'd be good news. YOu're not stupid to hope, of course not, don't be so hard on yourself. Nothing I can say will help of course, just wanted to offer virtual hugs
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by hopeful1973 » Wed May 09, 2022 1:08 pm
HippyChic just to add to the other ladies comments, I was there with you this cycle, got to CD28 with no brown bleeding (which normally kicks in before then), had quite a lot creamy cm which can be one of those magical 'symptoms' and allowed myself (well, couldn't stop myself really!) be a bit hopeful. Suffice to say, started spotting yesterday and just couldn't stop crying when I came home. the worst thing is letting myself get a bit hopeful when I should really know better by now!!!! It's awful feeling you can't let yourself get your hopes up isn't it?
To add insult to injury I woke up this morning to the most horrific cramps I've ever had, I couldnt' move off the bed, broke into a sweat they just wouldn't stop. Thankfully they've calmed down but I had to call in sick to work, which I've never done in my life for AF cramps. I just thought well thank you very Fecking much Mother Nature!!!!
Am feeling a bit better today in that I don't feel like crying (!), so hope you are by now as well.
Hx
Me 38, DH 38 AMH 4.8 Feb 2010 IVF No. 1 Sims, Dublin: BFN 13th March 2010 IVF No. 2 Sims, Dublin: BFP 26th July, m/c 14th August 2010 Sept 2010: Chicago bloods results show elevated TNF Alpha cytokines need Humira injections. Started Humira evening 30th Sept... Chicago retest 26th October. 3.11.10: Got retest results, have only dropped to 39.4 from 42.9 (needs to be under 30) two more Humira injections taken. IVF No. 3 January/February 2011 Gennet, Prague: OTD 5th Feb. BFN... IVF No. 4, ARGC London. Monitored cycle Chicago bloods showed very elevated cytokines - 64! On Humira. HSG 13th May 11 shows left tube open yay! 20.6.11: Hysteroscopy, all fine. 24.6.11: Chicago retest shows cytokines down to 44. Another 2 humira prescribed. 28.7.11: Started fourth IVF cycle. Two blasts transferred 13.8.11. 23.8.11: BFN
Oct' 11: Consult with ZW clinic. Started Napro charting. 18.1.12: Appt with Dr. B. Have my Napro plan of action, come on my BFP!!!
Dec bloods: Prog: 42 Oestradiol: 606 Jan bloods: Prog: 55 Oestradiol: 386 Feb bloods (first month on napro meds): Prog:59.8 Oestradiol: 956 (cholesterol: 4.86 yay!) March bloods: Prog: 164.4 Oestradiol: 1701 (?!) (Cholesterol 5.92 boo) April bloods: Prog: 18.5; Oestradiol: 410. May bloods: Prog: 90; Oestradiol: 1495; TSH: 2.1; Testosterone: 1.9; Dhea 10.
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by Mrs Coco » Wed May 09, 2022 1:23 pm
Hi Hippychic, I had a horrific day myself yesterday, crying my eyes out, in an absolute mess, hence my previous post. Im really sorry you had your hopes up, I think know exactly what you are going through. Hang in there, we will get our BFP's. Big hug
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