Feeling so negative. Anyone else the same?

reine · by **reine** » Fri May 04, 2022 3:33 pm

We're starting icsi soon. I'm down-regulating at the moment and trying to get myself ready for it. We've been ttc a long time, have had iui, but this will be our first icsi. I don't know why, but I'm feeling incredibly negative about the whole thing. I have this very strong, instinctive feeling that it's not going to work. Is that normal? I'd love to hear from people who felt like this and got pregnant. Feeling pretty hopeless today, to be honest.

by **pleasework** » Fri May 04, 2022 5:12 pm

Hi Reine,
Im much the same as you. ttc 16months, had 3 months on clomid, nov - jan, feb-march metformin, end of march met and clomid, now just on the met. With a consultant now, they dont want me on the met until get results back. im not coming off it just to go back to square 1. Im sick of everything to be honest! sick of ttc, sick of AF coming every month, sick of tablets, taking pregnacare vitamins and sick of my skin/hair problems caused by pcos. If I went back on the pill I wouldnt have any of these issues. Wish I could go back to where we were happy not ttc just yet. Is there any way back? Like when people take a "break" from ttc, wat do they do, start using contraception or just not temp etc for the months? surely if u take a break u still have that hope every month that it may happen cos now ur not thinking/stressing over it and doesnt life do that to people, suprise them when they least expect it?!? I dono... thinking of taking a break but think ul never really break from it it'll b in ur head regardless.
Sorry for the rant, needed to get that out!

Reine, with regards to the icsi, I think if u are serious about going for it u need to get in the most positive frame of mind uv ever been in. make it count and hope that the power of positive thinking will help. I go to a medidative yoga class once a week and it does help (its early in the week and iv had a tough week LOL not so positive this week) go for a walk or run, take a stroll on the beach with OH, go out for dinner or cook something special and stay in but do something nice for yourselves to help pick yourself up and get in the right headspace before it! Read a happy chicklit book or go and see a comedy. do something u enjoy doing. in the week running up to it, do something everyday that u love doing to help with the positivity and your state of mind..
Sorry bout the spelling its shocking but cant be arsed reading back to correct it!
LP

IvytheTerrible · by **IvytheTerrible** » Fri May 04, 2022 6:22 pm

Hi Reine, I am like you, due to start IVF again in a few weeks and will have to start getting ready for it, cutting down on the drink etc and in no form for it. I had a cycle cancelled due to poor/incorrect response and will be on increased meds the next time and short instead of long protocol. I was so positive the first time around and that didn't get me anywhere, I feel it has made me very cautious as it's too painful when you come down with a bang :o(

.

I am hoping once I have rang the clinic to book the first scans etc, it will be another milestone and will get me in gear again to look forward. I also find relaxation CD's for IVF a real help and just being good to yourself as LP said.

Best of luck with it :wv

reine · by **reine** » Fri May 04, 2022 6:46 pm

Oh god girls, it's so tough isn't it?! I don't know what we'll do if it doesn't work, as we don't have the money to keep trying. Just feel like we couldn't possibly be lucky enough to get pregnant.

LP, how old are you? Is time on your side? What I mean is, can you afford to take a break? We took one once for about 6 months and I regret it now. I'm 35, so I don't have the luxury of time. Having said that, if you're younger, then there's no harm in taking a break. Plenty of people do and while doing so, get their BFP :-)

Ivy, when is your ivf scheduled? Which clinic are you with? We're with Sims. Have just started the pill and will be starting stims in a few weeks. So unfair that we have to go through this. Wish it was easier.

I love your idea LP, of doing something nice every day. Sounds like a good way to keep my mind off things.

Today is an off day. I'll try to be more positive from tomorrow.

IvytheTerrible · by **IvytheTerrible** » Sat May 05, 2022 11:23 am

I'm with you on the off day :o(

I'm 38 so apart from the break that CFC insist I take, I don't really have much scope for breaks. Depending on AF, I should be starting IVF early June. I am hoping the short proto is easier as I found the waiting awful last time, a month on the pill, then Buserelin to down reg which didn't agree with me, then I thought I was over that hurdle with no cysts and able to start stimming, then the scan showed the follicles were all different sizes. I think I expected them to work more with what they had so it was very hard to be told stop the meds and go home. Hopefully our turn will come ladies :babydust:

Lizzie02 · by **Lizzie02** » Sat May 05, 2022 5:21 pm

reine,

Please take the time to read my post below. I am heading out soon so not much online time here.

viewtopic.php?f=41&t=356322

I am also just off the phone with my cousin and it took him and his wife 2 years to conceive their first baby after unexplained infertility and have recently had their 3rd child.

After having two miscarriages and been told earlier this year that we needed IVF as my AMH was 1.7, etc., I have no shame in admitting that it drove myself and my husband into a very very dark place. To be honest, there was days I wondered how I could even go on!

Miraculously, we fell pregnant again around mid-February and with the excellent support and help from Sims, was put on prednisolone, aspirin, clexane, cyclogest, folic acid and Vitamin B Complex from about 4 weeks and have just started weaning off prednisolone this morning.

I NEVER in my wildest dreams thought that I would be writing one of those success stories after the NIGHTMARE AND HEARTACHE that we have been through.

Stay strong together and remember: The darkest hour of night is just before the dawn

reine · by **reine** » Sat May 05, 2022 5:46 pm

Ivy, we'll be cycling in June too. We should keep in touch and try to keep eachother going. God knows, we can do with as much support as possible.

Lizzie, thank you so much for your story. It is inspirational and gives me hope. It really does. You must have been stunned when you got your BFP. What a great time for you. I sincerely hope the rest of your pregnancy is as wonderful as you deserve. I hope I get to post a story like yours some day xx

by **anonwithissues** » Sat May 05, 2022 6:37 pm

Reine, don't beat yourself up. I went into ICSI very negative also but it worked for us. Unfortunately we didn't have a happy ending but we've far from given up. We're hoping to cycle in June July again also.

IvytheTerrible · by **IvytheTerrible** » Sat May 05, 2022 9:10 pm

Reine that would be great, I keep in touch with a few others also, PM any time you like :wv

littlesugarloaf · by **littlesugarloaf** » Tue May 08, 2022 8:11 am

Hi guys, another one here who's the wrong side of 35 and have had a few bad days recently. We're due to start IUI at the end of June so a few cycles to go until then. Absolutely terrified that it won't work but trying to mentally get my head around it. I spent most of this weekend crying over the daftest things (think it's the Eltroxin they just put me on) as I feel my hormones are surging. On CD5 today so heading into it all over again. This is cycle 12 and I can barely believe it.

Anyway, everything you guys said struck a chord with me. I go from days when I absolutely am certain it will happen to the complete opposite. I just wanted to say the very best of luck to everyone in June/July. Here's to all those lovely Spring 2013 babies.

by **babybrain2012** » Wed May 16, 2022 10:03 am

Girls, I could have been writing any of your posts this time last year but miracles do happen! We went through 3 IUI's and each time I built myself up that this was it but it wasn't to be, I didn't even have as much as a late period!

I never thought I would be someone faced with going through IVF, that sort of nightmare was for other people - wrong again! We started the IVF process round about Oct '11 and as you can see we hit gold the first time.

I know it can be hard to read success stories when it is never your turn but don't give up hope. IVF is not nearly as bad in reality as I had built it up to be in my head. I tried acu for it as well and I'm convinced this had a major part to play in our success. (I have my acu contacts if anyone wants them)

Good luck to you all xx :heartbeat:

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