my SILS friend's baby

Luka · by **Luka** » Sun Feb 26, 2022 9:17 pm

Oh God Mari yay, I'm so sorry. It's so hard to understand why these things happen. In fairness, the risk of a pregnancy going wrong after 13 weeks is less than 1 %. So for 1000 women, less than 10 will lose after 13 weeks. SO the percentage is very small, but it sounds greater because these stories always come to the forefront. But in perspective the risk is tiny & like I said this girl had some medical issues before, which hasn't helped. PLease Don't worry! you will be fine.

ghostchild2 · by **ghostchild2** » Sun Feb 26, 2022 9:29 pm

Luka my cousin was over 7 months pg when she lost her little girl. She went to the doc for a normal check up and sadly he couldn't get a heartbeat. She had to give birth too. They had a funeral and it was the saddest one I have ever been too. The coffin was so tiny it looked like a shoe box. Thankfully she went on to have another beautiful baby girl after.

Luka · by **Luka** » Sun Feb 26, 2022 9:51 pm

I suppose we will never know the reason why. The percentage is small but it happens. I practically wrapped myself in cotton wool when pregnant with DS as it was my third pregnancy & I was 36, & I was doing everything to try to make it work (which it did). NOw I know the outcome would probably have been the same no matter what, but I was just extra paranoid. AT my 33 week check up in the hospital the nurse told me to "cop-on" I was 33 weeks & nothing was going to go wrong! That was how pessimistic I was. BUt again, in retrospect, the percentage of things going wrong is very small after 13 weeks. But worrying is a natural emotion & that's what makes us human, but most of the worrying is needless. xx

April13 · by **April13** » Sun Feb 26, 2022 10:12 pm

This is soooo sad.... sitting crying at screen, similar happened to a friend of mine...

Heartbreaking!!!! :o(

Luka · by **Luka** » Sun Feb 26, 2022 10:27 pm

I know her little boy didn't make it, but the hardest part I 'm finding is the fact that his heartbeat was so strong on friday & when they scanned her on saturday morning it was gone. She said she knew it as the movements stopped on saturday morning at 5 am. So that was it. :o(

God rest his little soul.

by **NemoFish** » Tue Feb 28, 2022 6:28 pm

Oh God that is so terribly sad.

Luka · by **Luka** » Tue Feb 28, 2022 6:41 pm

Well he has been laid to rest, just immediate family attended. So sad to think she was so near the 24 week mark :o(

I hope she gets some answers.

MrsDarcy · by **MrsDarcy** » Fri Mar 02, 2022 10:08 pm

Luka didnt want to read and not reply.
Im so sorry - you must feel so sad pet

This happened a few weeks ago to my SIL's neice. Very sad altogether. Baby made it through to full term, through surgery too and unfortunately she picked up an infection in the hospital. A little trooper, she was.I was in work when my mam told me. I went to the bathroom and cried. I always think of her when I get the mammy blues and realise that I have the best gift of all and I shouldn't complain.

To all the angel babies, we are thinking of you even though we never knew you O:o)

Luka · by **Luka** » Fri Mar 02, 2022 11:02 pm

Thanks MrsDarcy,

I'm so sorry about your SIL's niece. That must have been very difficult. I know the tone of this thread is morbid, but sadly it's something that happens & sometimes talking about it helps. I know women that have lost babies in every trimester now. Most commonly, like myself, the first trimester, but also the second & third. My first 2 pregnancies, I just "knew". Even though I had scans & saw little heartbeats, at follow up scans they had stopped. A very good friend of mine was 26, on her 2nd pregnancy, when the movements stopped at 18 weeks. 5 years on, she can't bring herself to visit his grave, she said she just can't do it.
I don't want to be too downbeat, as we know most pregnancies go to term. But sometimes it's just helpful to bear in mind that a small percentage don't. No-one wants to think of that, even when I got pregnant first, it never enter my head, until it was staring me in the face. BUt at least I was early enough to be spared the burial of a baby, I can't even imagine how horrendous that was for my SIL'S friend.

MrsDarcy · by **MrsDarcy** » Wed Mar 07, 2022 10:05 am

Luka you sound so strong.

I've never been through a mc or sb. Hearing about my SIL's niece was only the second time I'd heard about someone losing their baby. A dear friend of mine had to give birth to her stillborn daughter 2 years ago. It was the most heartbreaking time.

I see you have a DS though, and he must really ease your pain, though I know it will never fully go away.

Luka · by **Luka** » Wed Mar 07, 2022 6:27 pm

Hi MrsDarcy,

Yes i have a DS now, he's a great little boy & is bringing joy to so many. I know early miscarriage is quite common, but what I found the hardest thing to cope with was they were so close together & I was nearly 35, so I took it all very badly. I honestly thought I had left it all too late. But thankfully it was 3rd time lucky

I was a bag of nerves for the whole pregnancy & now that my DS is 10 months, we are thinking about no 2, as I'm 37 now. I just don't know how I am going to face it! We'll just have to take the chance.

by **Cinnabon** » Thu Mar 08, 2022 2:25 pm

Luka - got that is a heartbreaking story.

I had my first at 39 and if/when we go for #2 I will be 41. Like you I think age isn't on my side and had some tests on the first one to make sure all would be ok. Despite the tests I worried all the way through as a couple of my friends have disabled children even when their pregnancies were trouble free and the disabilities couldn't be detected before birth.

Luka · by **Luka** » Fri Mar 09, 2022 9:53 pm

Hi Cinnabon,

Yes pregnancy can be such a minefield. IN one way I think age doesn't matter in that, 2 friends of mine who lost babies in the second trimester, were in their 20's. On the other hand, I know a woman, who's nearly due her first baby, & she's 48! She got married at 34 & after years of it "not happening", they gave up. She was, I must say, VERY surprised she got pregnant at 47, but everything is fine, she had the anamoly scan, there appeared to be no reason for concern & things look good.

In one way, I was lucky in that, I was getting pregnant quite quickly, but then something was going wrong. BUt thankfully with DS all was good. Fingers crossed for you too with no 2. I probably won't breathe for 9 months again, but I coped last time! Good luck & :babydust:

Luka · by **Luka** » Wed Apr 11, 2022 11:03 pm

Hi Girls, just wanted to update on my SIL's friend, she is doing ok, nearly 2 months after losing her little boy at 23 weeks pregnant. She did get some info from the hospital in relation to the post mortem, & my SIL said she was happy enough with the reasons, (I don't know specifics) but it was apparent something caused the amniotic sac to rupture so early (at 22 weeks) & she knew it was nothing that could be prevented & nothing that she herself had done. SO at least she had a small amount of peace of mind. My SIL said she is doing very well in the light of all this. THank God she's doing ok now, as she was in a very bad way when it happened in february. Just said I'd update.

by **Cinnabon** » Thu Apr 12, 2022 8:02 am

Luka - thanks for the update. I guess seeing as she has an explanation rather than 'it was just one of those things' may make it easier to get some closure.

Who is online