Not having a hen night/weekend etc

Snuffy · by **Snuffy** » Sat Mar 31, 2022 1:41 pm

A friend of mine didn't want a hen night but her sister organized one for her anyway. However her sister organized something shed like so we just went out for dinner. Table booked for half 7, she left decorations into restaurant for the table and got a cake and all. Was a lovely night. Real relaxed.

Guess what I'm getting at is that if your sister or whoever is insisting they'll organize something for you anyway just maybe make sure she knows what you hate? I know in the case I mentioned above if her sister had organized a night away or a big puddle up the bride would have absolutely hated it. And that would have been awful for all involved.

I don't think there's anything wrong with not having one (I'm not even sure if I'll bother myself) but if you do have people insisting and you know they will do something maybe try and steer them in some direction for your own sanity.

Having said that, people are weird. Why don't they just let you do what you want.

candlequeen · by **candlequeen** » Mon Apr 02, 2022 9:03 pm

I am NOT having one.

FSIL1 (they should have christened her "I want to take over") has mentioned a Spa, a meal out in a fahhhhbulous restaurant, or a girly shopping trip.
FSIL2 wants to get a party bus and go somewhere where there'll be a load of lads.
FSIL3 wants to make sure that whatever it is, it has to suit her, because she can't swap shifts.
"Friend" wants to shove it in her other friend's face that she's going and the other one's not.
FSIL2 & Best Friend don't get on because FSIL2 once told BF's boyfriend that her "thong is right up my ar$e" and then accused her of stealing her vodka at our engagement party.

Whenever the Stag's on I'm going to stay at my sisters' house for the night.

Party bus, ffs.... and I HATE shopping... do any of these people know me at all..... O:|

Finicky Fi · by **Finicky Fi** » Mon Apr 02, 2022 10:08 pm

Good on ye for not having hens.
I am so sick of them.
Bullied in joining other people for forced fun.
And then you're the one who is insipid if you don't go. O:|

Rant Alert!
Socialising is a luxury for me these days and I'm not going to waste my precious discretionary income on embarrassing myself in your company.

C13 · by **C13** » Tue Apr 03, 2022 8:27 am

Lol oh candlequeen I'm just wiping my coffee off my computer screen in work! that made me laugh!!! I would be exactly the same! hate the party bus crap along with shopping! sounds like a right fun bunch you have as FSIL's!

And I'm definitely with you on the discretionary income point Finicky Fi!

Anne Cordelia Shirley · by **Anne Cordelia Shirley** » Tue Apr 03, 2022 9:18 am

I didn't have a hen and never regretted it. I'm not keen on the concept anyway and only attend those for close friends. I especially don't understand why people have full on weekends away which costs a lot of money when they are already having a special day-its called a wedding! My sister who was my BM asked if I wanted her to organise something, so her, me and our mum went for a few beauty treatments and had a couple of bottles of bubbly and then had a small dinner with a few friends.

C13 · by **C13** » Tue Apr 03, 2022 4:31 pm

Well ladies went off for a night with my two closest friends on what was my version of a hen i.e. not a l-plate or sash in sight! we had a brilliant night in killarney, there was a great buzz about the place and it was the best night out we had in ages! we ended the weekend by staying for a pyjama party in the hotel the reception is in with everything provided for free from dvds, to food, to munchies and 2 lovely bottles of prosecco and the nights stay in the hotel! it was unreal, the service was brill and i cannot wait for august!!!! and if anyone else asked about the hen i think i'll tell em, ask once more and i'll lose your invite in the post!!! >:o)

by **miss_behave** » Mon Apr 09, 2022 8:35 pm

Oh goodness, you all could be talking about me!

I didn't have a hen night. Can't stand them, I think they're tacky. Strippers, fake veils, horrid sashes. Not my cup of tea at all. But I've been to a few. Usually ending in tears...But - to each their own!

A very good friend of mine is having a hen party. Was told 'It wouldn't cost much - only E60' OK, it was quite a good deal for the money (meal, cocktails, dancing). But one small problem. My husband & I are unemployed, so E100 including money for a cab and extra drinks if necessary is a HELL of a lot of money to us. We'll be going to the wedding though and already having kittens about it. Can't afford new outfits so having to make do. We've just about scraped E50 for a present, but will get vouchers as refuse to give cash.

Some brides can't seem to understand the Celtic Tiger is now a Celtic Kitty, and not a very well one at that!! :duh:

The days of spending the best part of a grand on one day for a guest are gone. We have to cut out cloth to measure as my DH tells me!

candlequeen · by **candlequeen** » Mon Apr 16, 2022 5:04 pm

miss_behave wrote:Oh goodness, you all could be talking about me!

I didn't have a hen night. Can't stand them, I think they're tacky. Strippers, fake veils, horrid sashes. Not my cup of tea at all. But I've been to a few. Usually ending in tears...But - to each their own!

A very good friend of mine is having a hen party. Was told 'It wouldn't cost much - only E60' OK, it was quite a good deal for the money (meal, cocktails, dancing). But one small problem. My husband & I are unemployed, so E100 including money for a cab and extra drinks if necessary is a HELL of a lot of money to us. We'll be going to the wedding though and already having kittens about it. Can't afford new outfits so having to make do. We've just about scraped E50 for a present, but will get vouchers as refuse to give cash.

Some brides can't seem to understand the Celtic Tiger is now a Celtic Kitty, and not a very well one at that!! The days of spending the best part of a grand on one day for a guest are gone. We have to cut out cloth to measure as my DH tells me!

+1 on this. We're not exactly flush and every penny is going into doing as much DIY as we can to keep costs down as well as saving for the cash balances to give to suppliers on the day. My sister is doing a course, my friend's fiancee has just lost his job, and my Mum isn't working. I know that they would all try and come if I was having something big and I'd hate to put that pressure on them. I think it's the height of cheek to ask people to pay the guts of €100 to celebrate something that's going to cost them more money on the day. It would make me feel horrendous to think that people would have to scrimp and save to go on the p!ss when I really don't want to be there at all. I've been asked to hens in the past and told "Ah it's a great deal, €75 all in" - I've said no. I just couldn't afford it and I wouldn't expect anyone to drop a huge amount of money (and €50 to me is a huge amount of money) because of me. I feel bad enough as it is because I know that the accommodation is expensive, and there are people travelling from the US and the UK. The cost of their flights! Good god the guilt....

C13 · by **C13** » Tue Apr 17, 2022 10:13 am

well ladies reading all your not having a hen night/weekend stories I'm even stronger in my resolve that i'm not having one!

1 - i'm not a fan of them, and the one i had to attend at the weekend made me like them even less!
2. - i hate putting pressure on people financially etc to attend these things, weddings are expensive enough as it is without adding to it for both the people getting married and the guests

And if one more person says...........................AH BUT YOU HAVE TO HAVE A HEN NIGHT.....................slaps is all i can say!!!! >:o)

Who is online