Fiance didn't come home last night!

CC2b2012 · by **CC2b2012** » Sun Apr 01, 2022 8:37 am

Well, the title says it all!!
My darling fiance went out last night with a few work friends for dinner and drinks. He didn't come home last night.....
I haven't seen or heard from him since 6pm yesterday. Not even a text to say "I'm staying at X's house". I'm so p*ssed with him!
We have two young kids, under 3, which just makes it worse. I had a difficult night with DD who is 10months old and was sick last night. So I'm tired this morning and have been left on my own until god knows when.
It's not the first time he's done something like this either. When he goes out it's usually a late night. I've come to expect it, even when I ask him to come home early! (by which I mean 12 and he thinks is just before 2am >:o(

) He turned up one morning at 5am after crashing on a friends couch for a couple of hours and then finally making his way home. I thought he had learnt his lesson from that one though.... Obviously not. :(
I'm just so annoyed with him! >:o(

And really disappointed. I didn't think he would do this to me again. Whenever he eventually gets home he'll probably just lie on the couch half asleep for the rest of the day. It just ruins the whole day for me and the kids. I'm thinking I'll just go out with the kids. Let him come home to an empty house. And not contact him at all.....
Or would that just be too petty?

kittycatt24 · by **kittycatt24** » Sun Apr 01, 2022 8:54 am

No wait untill he comes home, give him the kids, then go out for the day!!

CC2b2012 · by **CC2b2012** » Sun Apr 01, 2022 9:37 am

That might sound like a good idea but I couldn't do it to the kids. They need some one competent to look after them. It wouldn't be fair to them to get left with their hungover dad! He's pretty useless after a night out. Which is fine if you don't have any responsibilities, but he does! I think sometimes he dosen't even think about the effect his nights out have on us :(

boodlesdoodles · by **boodlesdoodles** » Sun Apr 01, 2022 2:44 pm

The last thing i would be doing is letting him come home to a nice quiet empty house so he can crawl into bed and sleep in peace for the rest of the day!!! Are you mad??!!
Fill the kids up with sugar and let them run riot, give them the noisiest toys to play with, put on the dvd that they love to sing a long to at full volume, if possible invite some other kids over too!!
>:o)

To be honest, i cant understand why he cant come home after a night out, if my DH did that without prior arrangement i would kill him.
There is no need to stay elsewhere when you have a perfectly good bed at home. Get in a taxi and get your ass home, end of!
Now if DH had said prior to going out, ok probably wont be home til the morning cos X is probably gonna invite us all back for poker and whisky shots, then fair enough.

But to not even get a text or a phonecall so you know he's not lying in a ditch somewhere is the height of ignorance and disrespect!
See, in that situation i would probably mortify him by ringing all his family and friends to find out where he is, might put him off doing it again if he thought enough people would find out about it.

by **hourglass** » Sun Apr 01, 2022 3:11 pm

boodlesdoodles wrote:But to not even get a text or a phonecall so you know he's not lying in a ditch somewhere is the height of ignorance and disrespect!
See, in that situation i would probably mortify him by ringing all his family and friends to find out where he is, might put him off doing it again if he thought enough people would find out about it.

+1. This would be a deal breaker for me if it continued.

ginger power · by **ginger power** » Sun Apr 01, 2022 3:54 pm

I would be pissed if OH did this to me and didnt contact me to let me know, what is wrong with his own house, to come home too even if its at 3am, i would fill kids with sugar and let them go mad screaming and running around, not fair that ur left with kids which he is off out and doesnt bother to come home >:o(

CC2b2012 · by **CC2b2012** » Sun Apr 01, 2022 7:42 pm

Thanks ladies! Well, I didn't wait around for him to come home. Which was just as well.... I took the kids out and we enjoyed ourselves at the park and playground. When we got home he still wasn't back! I got a call from him at 2.20 when I was on my way back home. He said he'd be home soon. He managed to find his way back just after 3. He went straight inside and didn't say a word to me. I was out on the green with the kids...
He has since apologised and said it won't happen again. It better not! I told him this sort of sh*t just isn't on.
Himself and his workmate sat up talking (and drinking cans he added when questioned) all night and then decided they'd stay up to watch the sun rise! WTF?? Seriously, he's in his early 30s not some love-struck teenager at his debs!!
The rest of the day was as expected - him half asleep on his chair in the sitting room. No amount of fanta-filled kiddies would have gotten through to him. I'd just be causing myself more hassle.

mammy2011 · by **mammy2011** » Sun Apr 01, 2022 10:05 pm

He stayed out from a night out until the afternoon, didn't contact you? Then walked past you and into the house. I'm sorry to sound harsh but WTF??
If it was me i would find it hard to believe that he wasn't up to something else.

vidia · by **vidia** » Sun Apr 01, 2022 10:17 pm

This doesnt sit well with me at all. We have 2 kids as well and if my husband showed me the disrespect that your oh has displayed, Id seriously think about marrying him. Im not trying to be harsh here, but what he did was dispicable. Why couldnt he even have sent you a text?

He sounds very immature and I dont think Id like to spend my life with someone like that.

I know we all need to blow off steam and get away from it all now and again, but you HAVE TO take your partner into account.

Luka · by **Luka** » Sun Apr 01, 2022 10:24 pm

You are actually marrying this man? Who shows you & your children this level of disrespect? I couldn't deal with this, it'd always be in the back of my mind. I think you need to ask yourself some serious questions.

lizzieJ · by **lizzieJ** » Sun Apr 01, 2022 11:10 pm

Agree with mammy2011, I would think he was definitely up to something else.

Littlebo · by **Littlebo** » Sun Apr 01, 2022 11:41 pm

Sorry, but you actually let him back into the House?

Okay, if it were the first time he did it I'd have a stern word but this isn't his first. You need to look very seriously at this situation. You have kids with this man and he has the disrespect and inconsideration to stay out all night and not even contact you from 6pm until 2pm the next day!! If he was able to open cans all night then his fingers were working, what's the reason he couldn't call you?

What if something had happened you or the children? How could he not contact you for that length of time?
I think you are way too easy on this man and I do understand you have children that you have to take care of but he should also naturally behave in a manner of responsibility and take care of his kids and you. He is not doing this at all and sounds like an immature selfish git tbh. You deserve so much better than this and if it were me I would not put up with this at all. ONCE, maybe and then that would be it. I'd be gone. You cannot rely on this man.

Btw what two men stay up to look at the sun coming up? This is the most bizarre excuse I have ever heard.

boodlesdoodles · by **boodlesdoodles** » Mon Apr 02, 2022 12:47 am

Im sorry, but there would be serious alarm bells ringing in my head if my OH casually strolled home at 3pm after being out all night since 6pm the evening before! :eek

And hadnt bothered to get in touch until 40mins before that! What was he doing, getting his story straight with the lads about where he was??
And the fact you didnt meet him at the door with a frying pan is beyond me!! :eek

Mine would still be in A&E having it surgically removed from his forehead!

I would have fcuked him out of it as soon as he set foot inside! Staying up to watch the sunrise?! Ah come on, what sort of a fool does he take you for?? Sorry if that sounds harsh, but sometimes when you are in a situation you cant see the wood for the trees. Wake up and smell the coffee!

He's up to no good love, i would be straight on the phone to this 'mate' he was supposedly with all night to get his version, then id be having a look at your OH's phone to see are there any incriminating messages or calls.
i wouldnt trust him as far as i could throw him!

lolabelle · by **lolabelle** » Mon Apr 02, 2022 6:02 am

I wouldn't believe him for a second.

If my dh stayed out all night and didn't come home till the afternoon he'd find his clothes in a black bag in the porch. This is a deal breaker for me. Your oh is lying to you. I hope you are ok.

Gasher26 · by **Gasher26** » Mon Apr 02, 2022 6:56 am

Girls, before the poor op is lynched by u all, why not just suggest she asks him outright?? I understand the anger some of u say u feel on her behalf but put urself in her situation for a min. She comes on to rant, and suddenly her fiancé is spending the night with another woman!! Maybe he was, and maybe he wasn't, but it's unfair of u all to come on and it to her as fact when ur not sure! U don't know either of them! Imagine how u would feel if lots of virtual strangers were telling u these things!!

Look, I agree, give him hell but don't immediately assume the worst!! Sometimes people do very stupid things! Let us know how u get on.

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