Does a wedding pay for itself?

by **corkgirl2010** » Fri Nov 26, 2021 5:52 pm

Hi Ochre,

Thanks for that, your so honest and its most definitely true, what I was going to say earlier but was afraid to is that to me even giving 30 euro as a gift between two people is a bit mean in my opinion I know times are tough im aware of that in that instance I would prefer not to receive any present. Sometimes and I mean sometimes these very same people, have
1. bought a new outfit especially for the day
2. will get hair and make up done
3. will book into the hotel for the night of the wedding
4. will turn up the day after for whatever buffet is going

we all know them the people you 'have to invite' out of respect for your parents or whatever. work colleagues etc (and please dont say only invite who you want there thats just not always possible without causing rifts and family arguments I want this a nice calm affair)

Like I mentioned thankfully we have ALL the money saved to cover our total costs including the honeymoon so anything we get back is a bonus, personally gifts dont just do it for me!

thanks for your honesty and its nice to know Im not going mad!

by **katiemomma** » Fri Nov 26, 2021 9:06 pm

My wedding was in august 09 and it did pay for itself. I was certainly not expecting it to pay for itself. we had 260 as we have huge families. Our wedding was costing between 25-30k at the start with what we 'wanted' but i then started doing lots of DIY stuff and my total spend was 18k and 4k for honeymoon on top of that. we received 25k (outside of parents gifts) so we had 3k left and spent it on honeymoon. We were so surprised at some peoples generosity and some people then didnt even give us a card as Im very sentimental so I do find that part odd. We had enough money to pay for wedding ourselves but wouldnt expect it to have ever paid for itself.

I see where you are coming from and it all depends really on how much you have spent and how many guests you have. I do think some of the posts were harsh. You werent saying that you thought your weddings were going to pay for it etc. Everyone is cash crazy at the mo tbh.

by **corkgirl2010** » Sat Nov 27, 2021 12:36 am

thanks katiemomma, yes its a bonus if it does pay for itself of course!

but like you said I didnt say, I want a huge wedding and my guests will pay for it!

thank you!

by **MrsExcited2010** » Sat Nov 27, 2021 1:37 am

Hey Corkgirl2010,

Well we just recently got married and it didn't pay for itself, we did get very generous gifts so we were just so happy with that and people's generosity. I would say it covered about 1/3 of the wedding. We scrim ped and saved for ages and we havn't been on a proper honeymoon yet, like others we are going to wait until money is better. We did go on a 'minimoon' a 4 day break straight after the wedding in Portugal, fab so don't feel like we totally missed out and we did spoil ourselves :o)ll

then we ended up moving abroad so it has been hard been away from people.

I am genuinely so happy we had the day we had, it was our closest friends and family and was just so much fun and so great- totally emotional too... loving married life. The best thing you can have is an amazing day and a great start to your life together... enjoy your big day O:o)

babyhopesanddreams12 · by **babyhopesanddreams12** » Sat Nov 27, 2021 7:02 pm

we got married 2 wks ago and it almost payed for itself. We were lucky as we had it all saved for and more besides. Some ppl did come and gave nothing - not even a card to wish us well which if im being truthful pissed me off sightly. But at the same time we were taken back by the generosity of some ppl that gave so so much. AT the beginning we budgeted €24K (without honeymoon) but it came in at €19K and that incl loads of extras like a 3 day break to Paris & spending money, chair covers, centerpieces, irish dancers,extra flowers for chapel,an extra car for the bridal party, a more expensive package with the photographer and extra on the video too. We got approx €15k and a ton of beautiful gifts which we were gobsmacked with esp now a days. We had a guest list of 200.

BusyDee · by **BusyDee** » Sun Nov 28, 2021 12:33 pm

No problem :wv

LadyGaga2010 · by **LadyGaga2010** » Sun Nov 28, 2021 6:35 pm

Ours just about did. Wasn't expecting it to at all. We had saved the money and also taken out a small credit union loan. I have to say, we put on a great wedding, spent the money on the food and music and cut back big time on things like cars, invites (although they were fab, they were a little different and def cheaper than normal), my dress was quite cheap compared to most and I was very sensible about shoes, jewellery and all that kind of thing. Made cake myself and just got it iced. Saved money where I could but spent money on the important things and got so many compliments on my organisation of the day - so many people said it was the best wedding they were ever at. So you really can save and cut corners without cheapening your wedding.

Anyway to answer OP's question, yes our wedding gifts did cover our weddings costs. We invited about 270 people, on the day about 225 sat down for dinner. Total wedding costs were c.€25k and cash presents were about €24.5k. We also received about €1k in vouchers and some lovely gifts also. We were blown away by people's generosity. Some people really surprised us. Some of our friends have recently become unemployed and we made it clear to them not to worry about getting us a present and some of them did and some didn't but I was really glad to have them all there on the day. People's gifts were amazing, but even more so than that their good feeling towards and obvious happiness for us on the day was priceless, that's what's important.

by **corkgirl2010** » Sun Nov 28, 2021 9:21 pm

totally agree, thanks for the replies x

by **Muse** » Mon Dec 06, 2021 3:31 pm

My answer is no. We had 100 guests to a fabulous venue and although we did recieve mostly cash, it definately wouldnt have covered the cost of the wedding, not even the meal possibly.

by **Giant Underpants** » Mon Dec 06, 2021 3:37 pm

Excluding a generous gift from my own parents, my cash gifts averaged out at about €50 a head. If you include drinks reception and toast my wedding cost about €100 a head so mine certainly didnt pay for itself, it covered maybe half the meal at best.

I had a very large number of close friends/family members that gave me absolutely nothing. We also got a lot of things like bowls and frames - which although they are nice, cant be used as legal tender! I also got a few cards with €100 in them but signed by about 6 people. Theres no way of knowing in advance.

Anyone whose wedding is paid for by gifts is very lucky, but I certainly wouldnt count on it.

waterdale · by **waterdale** » Mon Dec 06, 2021 3:55 pm

I think if you have a big wedding there is more of a chance of it being paid for, we are saving very very hard for our wedding, i dont expect people to pay for my wedding but some people are lucky if it happens that its paid for, i dont want to be in debt so want the money saved and whatever we get is a bonus, espectially in these times :o)ll

by **Tunes** » Mon Dec 06, 2021 4:05 pm

TBH our guests were very very generous and while we didnt have the most lavish of weddings, we didnt skimp on it either, great food, great music, our wedding paid for itself. I'll prob get shot for this but if yr reception is costing max €50 per head, yr guests should cover the cost. We had money saved for our wedding so wasnt expecting it at all, anything we got back we seen as a bonus and certainly wasnt expecting that.
Most of my friends are already married and I had always given a generous amount of cash to each of them which they gave back to me a pressie, wasnt expecting it cuz of the hard times. DH was first to get married on his side out of all the cousins and family so it was a very big occasion for them.

I suppose ya could say we were very lucky!!

happieout · by **happieout** » Mon Dec 06, 2021 11:03 pm

xx

lux · by **lux** » Tue Dec 07, 2021 5:46 pm

I think in this climate its foolish to have gifts build into the budget. My wedding is all saved for, we're having 100 and its coming in for food and drink about €65 a head (depending on the wine we decide on). We're having the service in the same place and not having cars.

We decided I'd cover all the "bridal costs" ie my dress, hair, makeup, other bits for outfit, BM dress and all the bits, makeup/hair/mani&pedi for BM and mum etc while he would do the groom bits such as new tuxes, shoes, whatever they decided to get.

We're getting invites online, minimal flowers, table decor on ebay, haggled and sourced good photographer and dvd at the right price. Overall, I think we're under budget so far but we've €2000 in a contingency fund which will be used for emergencies just in case-if its not touched its extra money for the house to be renovated.

Also, people do not like to be asked formally for cash. I know both sets of parents have been asked what we'd like, we're putting on our invites that charity donations to the Irish Cancer Society are welcome. Also, as we're going to be renovating my mum has told her sisters we'd love Ikea (or similar) vouchers. I expect to get some cash but there is no way we'd be happy relying on it to pay for our wedding.

Have the wedding you can afford, you'll be less stressed and any gifts will be a bonus.

by **Daisywall** » Tue Dec 07, 2021 6:10 pm

It really depends. We were lucky. It didnt cover itself, but it did help and go a long way towards it. So almost...We had a nice bit saved and with a bit of help from parents, we were able to put a bit into savings after which was great! My family was WAY more generous compared to his, but then again, his are a lot less well-off, sow e knew it would possibly work out that way! The one thing that did help, btw, was that when my mother was asked what we'd like she said cash, as we have the house etc...We got a fair few presents, but it was great to get cash from most :wv

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