Does a wedding pay for itself?

by **wollyhead** » Thu Dec 16, 2021 10:12 pm

We had a relatively small wedding so never expected our wedding to pay for itself but I have to say I was blown away by how generous people were and those you have less gave most. I really found it so emotional the next day when we opened cards and realised how good people were to us. I cannot wait to do my thank you cards. We also had a 100% turnout on the day despite the weather (snow etc).

by **tuttiefruitieruthie** » Fri Feb 03, 2022 6:50 pm

cant wait for my day!

by **mommalou** » Wed Feb 08, 2022 7:42 pm

Our wedding didn't pay for itself. I would say the gifts (mostly cash) came to 1/3 of the total cost of the wedding. I do think a bigger wedding has a better chance of paying for itself. We had a small wedding (50, inc 10 kids), in a very nice venue. It worked out at about €90 per person, which is probably more expensive than other weddings. We did get a present from everybody, and were surprised aswell at the generosity of some people.
We had been saving for a year and in the end scraped enough :compress

I think in todays climate, the vast majority of guests will give a cash present.

Best of luck with all the planning

alex2012 · by **alex2012** » Wed Feb 08, 2022 8:42 pm

Ours wont either. Calculated that it the meal itself would cost €60pp and having only 50 guests also inc couple of kids. We did a rough estmate just to see by assuming how much would money would we receive and they meal should be paid for and I suppose thats all I would be expecting as everything else is just an extra that we chose we wanted to have.

frankenbride · by **frankenbride** » Fri Feb 10, 2022 12:51 pm

Ours almost did I think we were 1000 off so not bad. We had so many random amounts in cards!

A group of 3 friends gave €100 between them, my 4 cousins did the same thing, his sister gave €70 all his work couples gave €100 per couple.

Then you had a friend on his own giving 500!! Rest of family gave between 200 and 300 per couple.

A good few gave candle sets (now looking forward to a blackout :o)ll

)

I wasn't expecting to make anything on our wedding so we mainly stuck within our budget( I would have booked loads more but as we were smashed figured I shouldn't). The sister and friends that gave cards between them are all out of work so to me that €70 is worth more than the 500 and everyone had to pay 104 for a room which some people tend to forget.

I was just thinking we should have done don't tel the bride so we could of had loads of money to blow haha

by **lovemybed** » Fri Feb 10, 2022 7:52 pm

i think it's a very relevant question for a post on this forum. We all want to share knowledge. I understand people can't afford to give gifts, ok here's the but! BUT come on who can afford €200 a couple?? i certainly would have plenty of other more important things to spend €200 on especially when i am attending a wedding when i had to fork out for two nights accomadation two days drinking in big rounds (whilst carrying roundskippers!) petrol to go up and down the country after doing the same thing at a hen party from the previous pay packet. YET i wouldnt dream of not giving the €200 minimum in a card for the bride and groom who invited me to their wedding. lets face facts here, it is expected of me as a guest. I wouldn't have the audacity not to give it. I would hate if the bride and groom and their families knew i gave an inadequate sum of money. Even when i had 7 weddings in one year and 4 hen parties i still gave it. many of my friends have gotten married and to be honest (and i am a charitable person!) i expect them all to give me the start that i gave them when it was their turn. A good few of my firends' parents paid for their weddings i knew that and still gave them the same amount. I would also make sure I brought a generous amout of alcohol if someone has a house party etc.
If someone decides not to give me a wedding present i can't do anything about it, I won't ever bring it up, it won't stop me being friends with them or anything but i know i'd be annoyed, as it's just rude. I suppose you kinda set standards in your head by the way you behave yourself. there is more to life than money. i do put friendship over money at all times. i do however expect people to give wedding presents. it's just the done thing and i hope i will get cash gifts which will ease the blow of a €35k day the same way i have given gifts to my friends beforehand. hope you don't get the wrong impression of me I'm not having a wedding to get gifts nor am i depending on cash gifts i just expect a wedding gift! am i alone wth this view?

Mrs Fahrenheit · by **Mrs Fahrenheit** » Wed Mar 07, 2022 10:05 pm

€200 minimum in a card

Your dreaming if you think you'll get 200 minimum in a card from everyone! There is no minimum gift I'm afraid. Why would you even want some of your friends who couldn't afford it to stretch themselves to that - I would consider that a generous gift not a minimum.

Our gifts covered over 50% of the costs not including our parents gifts which meant that now we're only about 1000 euro worse off then when we started this lark but obviously we were just extremely lucky on the parents gifts. We were shocked and embarrassed by the generosity of people.

I think you could be really strategic and have massive wedding and a really low cost per head and possibly cover the costs but would you want to do that?

b2bJune2012 · by **b2bJune2012** » Thu Mar 08, 2022 6:02 pm

Mrs Fahrenheit wrote:
€200 minimum in a card

I think you could be really strategic and have massive wedding and a really low cost per head and possibly cover the costs but would you want to do that?

we are having quite a large wedding, our number is at 280 atm, (hoping it won't go any higher) and we have bargained to the last with our hotel so we do have a low cost per head....

So really not sure what you meant by that comment, our hotel is lovely, the cost includes wine, and a champagne reception, all chair covers and flowers in room, plus 8 complimentary rooms!!!! :eek

People need to remember that you can bargain so much with hotels now, we pitted one of the other and we got our price right down,

a friend of ours who recently got married had agreed a price of 100euro per head :eek

, when she heard about ours she went back to them and they dropped it right down by 20euro a head!!,
In the end she went to a different place altogether and got it for 65 a head which is still alot more expensive than ours!!

Bargain Bargain Bargain people

And while I agree a wedding won't pay for itself, we are hoping that it will cover most of the cost of the hotel, not relying just hoping....

Mrs Fahrenheit · by **Mrs Fahrenheit** » Thu Mar 08, 2022 11:19 pm

we are having quite a large wedding, our number is at 280 atm, (hoping it won't go any higher) and we have bargained to the last with our hotel so we do have a low cost per head....

So really not sure what you meant by that comment, our hotel is lovely, the cost includes wine, and a champagne reception, all chair covers and flowers in room, plus 8 complimentary rooms!!!!

I mean that I would think that most people would not want to be strategic by doing this to purely cover the cost. I'm not giving out about big weddings or anything.

CC2b2012 · by **CC2b2012** » Fri Mar 09, 2022 8:27 am

I have to say this is an interesting, informative and divisive topic!
In my own situation, I can safely say our wedding will not pay for itself. We're getting married in August this year. We're inviting roughly 150 people. Our hotel is pretty pricey, cost works out to be about €100 per head but this will cover the meal and drinks reception. I can't imagine getting €200 from any couple let alone all of them! We have a tight budget but we did plan it out so we could spend the extra on the reception and go for more budget friendly things in other areas.
Also, I have heard of the "Eddie Hobbs" wedding but it is definitely not something I'd be doing.

AliB2011 · by **AliB2011** » Fri Mar 09, 2022 2:04 pm

this topic can cause a lot of controversy can't it!! When people say the wedding pays for itself, i am presuming the mean the meal? We are getting a small loan just in case we end up with 200 frames and toasters! Wish i saved more last year, eek! Plus hotel wont except cash on the day after. It seems to really vary by couple. Just depends on your guests i guess. Hoping ours know we live in a one bed apartment and we have no room for anything. Unforunately. I always give money at a wedding. For one is it easier than trying to think what to buy and plus i know money would be more appreciated and will at least cover the meal. Would only buy something if they had a guest list. As long as I have my own money to pay everyone on the day. i dont care what happends after that! :yelrotflmaosmilie:

candlequeen · by **candlequeen** » Fri Mar 09, 2022 8:24 pm

AliB2011 wrote:this topic can cause a lot of controversy can't it!! When people say the wedding pays for itself, i am presuming the mean the meal?

This is what I always assume when I see a topic like this too - I mean, doesn't everything else have to be bought in advance??!! Or am I an eejit paying for everything bar the meal & band upfront?! :-8

Anyway, we've nearly everything paid for that we can pay for - it's a case of saving for the meal from now in.

AliB2011 · by **AliB2011** » Sun Mar 11, 2022 12:15 pm

Well, we have paid deposits for everything and then settling the rest on the day. I rather settle before if we can. Rather than having the hassle of all the cheques on the day! God it is a bit stressful when u think about it too much!! Deep breaths and save like mad!!

RoseDawson · by **RoseDawson** » Thu Mar 15, 2022 11:27 am

We had a wedding of 175 people and we would have got about 2/3 of the cost back anyway, maybe a bit more.
I was so shocked at how generous people were :eek

disney08 · by **disney08** » Fri Mar 16, 2022 1:11 pm

corkgirl2010 wrote:oh No thats awful some people have some cheek. I hope to God I'll do ok, I dont mind spending over and above but really thought that the cash presents would cover the majority, My first cousin got married lately and my aunt said to me, dont worry your wedding is well covered by the guests we have alot of family aunts and uncles so my parents and I would have given them good cash presents when they got married so I hope they will return the favour

We got a few large cash presents from very close relatives which were unexpected. Quite a few friends gave €50 or less, and one or two gave no present except for a card. Others made donations to my favourite charities. Everyone has different day-to-day expenses (mortgage/childcare/ivf/hospital bills/unemployment) and I would not have liked to think of my friends and family having to go without something important just to give us a 'decent' size cash gift.

Honestly, just be thankful that people have a good time and never factor in what you might get back in cash.

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