Fighting with your OH!

hestia · by **hestia** » Wed May 02, 2022 1:13 pm

So you've never had make-up sex then Whoop Whoop?

I had you down as an extreme liberal.

whoop whoop · by **whoop whoop** » Wed May 02, 2022 1:14 pm

hestia wrote:So you've never had make-up sex then Whoop Whoop?

I had you down as an extreme liberal.

Never!! I'm so ashamed...

luckyladee · by **luckyladee** » Wed May 02, 2022 1:16 pm

I'm a crier for sure. Even when I'm still trying to get my anger across - I'm doing it through the bloody tears. I'm a joke.

And not just with hubby - in ANY argument. With my mum, with a friend, with my boss - it doesn't matter. I burst into tears at the hint of a disagreement!
Absolutely my most irritating trait.

Ellefun · by **Ellefun** » Wed May 02, 2022 1:21 pm

DH hates confrontation so tends to go into avoidance mode. That only made me madder or upset as I felt he wasn't taking me seriously. It's probably better though and has calmed me down. I used to be a bit too expressive and Mediterranean in my emotions :o0

He's levelled me out to a place where I can be reasonable (sometimes) and not go from 0 to 60 in a flash. I do still hate when I feel he is quiet or avoiding an issue. I don't scream and cry but I do need to talk it out. I find rows cathartic sometimes.... Better out than in.

nini83 · by **nini83** » Wed May 02, 2022 2:02 pm

Mustang Sally wrote:My OH doesn't really do fights, well maybe he does but in such a way that he remains calm and reasonable the WHOLE time....it's so annoying! Our fights are usually - Me flying off the handle, having a good old rant ....Him just listening nodding, totally cam and then he says something that completely explains everything and I just "oh, yeah I suppose so" and secretly thinking "Damn you, you reasonable pr!ck!!"

This is us to a tee hello twin couple ! :wv

Smileykaz · by **Smileykaz** » Wed May 02, 2022 2:56 pm

whoop whoop wrote:We've actually never had a fight.

Sometimes i worry about what it will be like when we eventually do, because I don't actually know what a fight between us *looks* like - what if he's a total mentaller?? Of course I'm sure he's not, but it's weird not to know. Surely it can't be such smooth sailing forever...

Same here. We're together six years this September and my husband has yet to raise his voice even slightly to me.

We do have the odd disagreement of course but full on rows with shouting or silent treatment, that doesn't happen.

I am going to kill him over the doing 95 per cent of a job and then wandering off thing, that's a given. But I've said that to him a few times and he says 'Right sorry you're right' and finishes the job. That's more of a nag than a row though and he's the same with me putting things into the side bit of the sink instead of the bin, he's always nagging me over it. But it doesn't turn into a row.

I put it down to a few things: we're very similar people, so things are generally on an even keel here. We agree on a lot of things so there are few areas of conflict as we're generally on the same page.

We both have lovely normal families, thank God, so there's rarely any issues there. No family is perfect of course, but in the grand scheme of things and from what I read on here and see with other friends, our families are grand, which really helps.

Neither of us drinks. I think this is a big one, drink can cause a lot of arguments so we avoid a lot of that as we don't drink.

We are keeping our heads above water moneywise. Things are ok and the bills are paid so we're luckier than some so we don't have any rows there.

We don't have kids. I really think that's going to cause some rows between us as it's such a huge change like and a life altering thing. I'd imagine most parents row the odd time and it's down to the kids maybe not sleeping or acting out or being ill or whatever.

So no rows yet but I'd imagine when the kids come along and life changes out of the nice easy place it's in now, there'll be more rows and same if our financial situation changed.

I'm usually an even tempered person though when I lose my temper, I really lose it. I think if we ever had a big row, I'd be a thrower! Better put away the Waterford crystal!

seedee · by **seedee** » Wed May 02, 2022 4:55 pm

we've gotten way better at fighting in the last few years. we used to be terrible at it. we go at in completely different ways and both used to lose the plot trying to fight in a compromised way.

he likes to walk out, go for a drive, calm down. i like to talk it out and fix it straight away. now i leave him to calm down, and then we talk about it.

Mari yay · by **Mari yay** » Wed May 02, 2022 8:30 pm

Most of our fights revolve around driving :-8

I hate hate hate the way he drives, I do be so on edge in the car with him, especially if we are going somewhere we're not familiar with. I have begged him to be more aware that I am nervous and he swears he will but he never seems to. Drives me bananas.

If we have a disagreement at home we usually try to talk about it rather than argue or shout. I try to be aware that some of the things that annoy me at the moment are probably hormonal so I try not let them bother me.

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