What Do You Think Of This Idea??

FutureMrsS · by **FutureMrsS** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 10:07 am

Should we possibly look into local hotel, and bulk book a block of rooms, and tables in the restaurant for OH's family if they choose to use it? So that their after party could go there??

pregnantinheels · by **pregnantinheels** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 10:22 am

I love your ideas, sounds amazing and I would love to be a guest at your wedding. Most of all, I love the idea of you and your husband having dinner together, just the two of you. It will be so special and romantic and you have the best of both worlds by celebrating with your family and guests first and then making it all about the two of you

FutureMrsS · by **FutureMrsS** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 10:34 am

Oh thanks! I really like the bit about going off for dinner by ourselves - I know it's unorthodox in this country but I think it's romantic... and for us, getting married isn't about a big massive party for everyone we know, it's about sharing the day with family and close friends - we have about 70 guests - and then celebrating together that night... we have a 1 year old so we don't get a huge amount of time alone together so it will be really nice...

FutureMrsS · by **FutureMrsS** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 2:28 pm

What does everybody think is the best way to deal with the inevitable criticism???

MLeFleuffe · by **MLeFleuffe** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 2:34 pm

FutureMrsS wrote:What does everybody think is the best way to deal with the inevitable criticism???

Ignore!!!! ;)

FutureMrsS · by **FutureMrsS** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 2:38 pm

*deleted*

Nostress · by **Nostress** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 2:47 pm

What does everybody think is the best way to deal with the inevitable criticism???

Is your OH an only child?
Not that it should make a difference but is there an element of not getting a "proper" wedding if he doesn't do it?

I think your idea is lovely, maybe just ask why they don't like it and see if there is one small thing they think is "missing" that you can incorporate into the day?

highbeam · by **highbeam** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 2:50 pm

Say it is our wedding and this is what we want. I hope people can understand that. The important part of the day is that we are getting married not the party afterwards and we hope people will realise this and want to come to support us. If they want to turn their nose up at it, it is their problem and we will have our wedding our way and have a fantastic time with or without them.

After that phrases to deflect their suggestions like we have already decided on that, we have already made arrangements for that or we will think about it, we will consider that. I think when dealing with the inlaws use we instead of I or she might look on it that you are making all the decisions without her poor darling son having a say. Don't take it to heart what she says, I am sure they will come round to the idea and still have a great time on the day. Im sure you will get a lot of people complimenting you on the day at wonderful it is to do something different from the norm.

Agree if you could find something she wants and incorporate it into the day it might help her come around to your way of thinking.

candlequeen · by **candlequeen** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 3:07 pm

FutureMrsS wrote:What does everybody think is the best way to deal with the inevitable criticism???

"I take your opinions on board, and thank you for voicing them, but this is what we have decided on and we hope you have a really lovely time." End of.

It sounds gorgeous, and I want to come too :o0

- I don't see why a wedding automatically has to mean a p!ss up. I'm not going overboard with the wine and I'm sure people will see that as stingy or mean but my opinion is that once everyone gets a couple of glasses with their meal, then I'm happy.

Look - if you had a free bar and a 5 course meal for everyone you've ever met, there'd be still someone complaining, so stick to your guns and I wish you both the very, very best and I hope you have a fab time at your meal together - isn't that what it's all about?
I can't think of a nicer way to spend the evening of your wedding, having a lovely intimate romantic meal with your new husband. Give me that over drunk Uncle Johnny slobbering over a bridesmaid at 3am anyday!

Ah well.... on to continue planning my p!ss up, I'll be dreaming of those macaroons :o0

FutureMrsS · by **FutureMrsS** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 4:03 pm

LOL candlequeen! Love it!! Poor Uncle Johnny! :-P

The biggest thing they've had a problem with so far, or so it seems, is "not having a meal", "no dancing into the evening" and "People will be going off thinking to themselves that it wasn't much seeing as they brought a present and didn't even get a meal"... the meal seems to be the recurring thing... I don't see why not, there will be food, and LOTS of it... :-(

Thanks for all the advice!! Feel bit better prepared for the next onslaught!

highbeam · by **highbeam** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 4:05 pm

FutureMrsS wrote:LOL candlequeen! Love it!! Poor Uncle Johnny! :-P

The biggest thing they've had a problem with so far, or so it seems, is "not having a meal", "no dancing into the evening" and "People will be going off thinking to themselves that it wasn't much seeing as they brought a present and didn't even get a meal"... the meal seems to be the recurring thing... I don't see why not, there will be food, and LOTS of it... :-(

Thanks for all the advice!! Feel bit better prepared for the next onslaught!

This is why I think most people said to be sure to state on the invite it is afternoon tea and dancing till 7. Then there are no surprises, everyone knows what will be happening.

candlequeen · by **candlequeen** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 4:40 pm

FutureMrsS wrote:LOL candlequeen! Love it!! Poor Uncle Johnny! :-P

The biggest thing they've had a problem with so far, or so it seems, is "not having a meal", "no dancing into the evening" and "People will be going off thinking to themselves that it wasn't much seeing as they brought a present and didn't even get a meal"... the meal seems to be the recurring thing... I don't see why not, there will be food, and LOTS of it... :-(

Thanks for all the advice!! Feel bit better prepared for the next onslaught!

Strictly speaking, we're not actually having the whole "wedding meal" either. It's a sit-down buffet with two hot choices and a truckload of stuff that the hotel are doing for us. I know that there are some people that will find this a bit... unexpected, but that's what we're doing and that's what we want! If people want to bring presents then that's up to them, and it's lovely of them, but I don't think anyone ever asks directly for a present along with an invitation so I'm not going to feel guilty if someone considers a wedding gift as payment for a 4-course meal they won't be having! I've already had a comment from a FSIL - "oh, well Mum will probably have to get a hotel dinner because she doesn't like stuff like that" - let her go and do that so. It's your day, you're entitled to have what you want, but as the reply above me said I would definitely let people know that it's wrapping up early just in case people assume that it's an all-night thing and they book accommodation because they think they'll be there late. Personally I'd be delighted not to have to book anywhere to stay! :xox

lorraine78 · by **lorraine78** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 5:07 pm

Just wanted to say,i think it sounds fab what your planning on doing.I've spoken to lots of brides who said they didn't get 5 minutes to talk to their new husband on the day,they were too busy trying to talk to everyone else.I love the fact you're gonna celebrate your day with friends and family,then enjoy your evening with your husband and have plenty of champagne!! I'd say if anybody has a problem with what you're doing,they're not a true friend,because it's your day,and you should celebrate it the way you want.

FutureMrsS · by **FutureMrsS** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 6:35 pm

That's what I really wanna avoid Lorraine! I hate the idea of spending the day rushing around, not getting any time at all with R for the day...whereas this way, its relaxed and semi casual but elegant and special and a bit unique too... and very "us"... :-)

littlemissbusy · by **littlemissbusy** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 8:07 pm

Hi FuturemrsS,
I just had to reply and this is my first post on this forum. I LOVE your wedding day idea, it sounds like the perfect wedding day to me! and it's as its supposed to be about what you and H2be wants and sounds to me like it is! Brief your guests including family on the events of the day (ie what they can expect and time you finish up at etc and let them sort themselves out after that) and enjoy every moment with your new hubbie! This is something I may consider myself are you in Dublin? Myself and H2b have only recently decided to go for it, we have been together for 15 years (we were very young falling in love) and our wedding is going to be a secret! NOBODY on this earth knows we are tying the knot and they won't do until the day when they arrive at the reception (under false pretenses). I have contacted loads of private houses, but I am afraid the price might be too much for us so may go with afternoon tea I just love the idea of it, really up my street. Remember you will NEVER please everyone, so just please yourself and hubbie to be and it will be a day for you to remember! good luck and let us know how you get on!

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