Would you consider being a stay-at-home wife?

by **pupsalove** » Tue Sep 20, 2022 5:58 pm

Mr Red has the chance to retire from work at 38 :shock: in two years time with a pension of 16,000 a year. He plans on going back to college and as he says himself "study something I want to, not what you need for a job" he is currently doing an OU course. He said he has no problem being a house husband if we do have children, esp. with childcare the cost that it is :evil: . He's worked out, that with his pension plus the saving of not having to pay for childcare and me getting his tax allowance, that we won't be that much worse off without his wage :o I'll admit to being slightly jealous of his chance of retiring and doing what he wants to do but it does make sense to take advantage of his early retirement. Any other "state employee" wives been in this position or anyone else what do you all think should he stay in work or leave.

by **Frankie** » Tue Sep 20, 2022 7:10 pm

I'm just about to start a course that should enable me to work freelance in about a years time for my current company but to hours that suit me.

That means that I could be a stahm and work around my h2b's hours which are unusual because he's normally free in the middle of the day. I think I'd just go nuts if I was at home full time, I know some people who would love to do it but it's not for me. I find weekends with little miss very tiring and draining and am dying to get back to work on a Monday.

by **Bridget** » Tue Sep 20, 2022 11:17 pm

Mrs. Red

My H2B also works in a government job, but he will not take the pension until he is older. He will have 20 yrs service done in about 5 yrs. He would like to take a career break or leave the job, and do the engineering work freelance. He feels he would make more money than in the government job, and he feels that the pension after the 40 yrs service is not worth staying put for. (I on the other hand think the pension is loads, as I don't earn a lot)

H2B likes the work he is doing, but does not love doing the work in the government job environment.

I can understand if your H2B really hates his job and wants to get out, but would he not be bored in a few yrs time. I know he could mind your children now, but he will be only about 45 in 10 yrs time, and the children will be growing up. What would he like to do then?

I think that taking the pension now, could be a case of burning his bridges. It depends entirely on your H2B and how he feels about his current work. A less drastic alternative would be to take a few yrs career break, try out the OU and the childminding. Then he could feel refreshed and could be happy to go back to work, maybe get transferred to a diff dept.

You seem to be ok regarding the money side of it, but I would be concerned about H2B being still a young man at 45 and not being able to find suitable work. Even though everyone says there are plenty of jobs, I have found that it is still hard to get the decent jobs with regular hours. The 'plenty of jobs' refer to shops/factories etc which may not pay well when people are starting off. The work can be physicallly demanding and the hours unsocial.

Of course I am extra cautious, having been thru redundancy, finding it hard to get a permanent or reasonable paying job. These are only my views, but the most important thing is that your h2B is happy. Try and get him to see the bigger picture and consider the long term view.

by **brideaug06** » Wed Sep 21, 2022 8:44 am

Ideally I would like to go part-time in my current job I don't think that is a possibility. My fiance works in the family business, this is maybe an area I will get into down the line as I know there are plans for expansion which my fiance and his father would like me to get involved in but I would rather work seperate to that.

by **mollyapr** » Wed Sep 21, 2022 9:15 am

Hi Girls, dont have kids yet but I think I would stay at home for the first year or two and then take up part time work for sure....... I think its good to think about the future, when children have their own lives! If you work part time you give keep in touch with the workplace and I think if you give up totally it would be difficult to return to work........Anyways looks like ill be working for a while longer :( Speaking of which...better get back to the grindstone.....mol

by **Mrs Curly** » Wed Sep 21, 2022 9:17 am

I'm the higher earner at present so unless things change financially it probably wouldn't make sense but there is nothing I wouldn't give to make it a reality. I love cooking and looking after the house and imagine I'll enjoy being a mother. I also have enough interests outside work to keep me socially and mentally active. (I should have been a 1950's housewife!)

In reality I'll probably take a career break while they're pre-school and we'll manage shortterm. After that, we'll probably need some form of childcare unfortunately.

Anyone know tonight's Lotto numbers?!

by **Ducky** » Wed Sep 21, 2022 9:44 am

I was always ambitious, but very maternal. I always planned to work full time until kids came along and then go part time or stay at home. As the time approaches, I would prefer to keep my toe in the water and go part time.

However, H2B pays massive maintenance to his ex, making me the main 'take-home' earner, depite him earning more, so I will always have to work and the pressure is on me to rise higher and earn more. In fact, if either of us went part tiem, it would be him.

While I like the independence, sometimes it pi**es me off that I will never have the choice. Guess you can't help who you fall in love with!

by **gniddew** » Wed Sep 21, 2022 12:59 pm

Thought there was something in all that part-time/jobshare had to be an option in workplaces?? ie family friendly policies etc?

Hi AUg06

Do you know any more on this. i know that two girls in my work place wanted to job share or part time but they were not given the option. They were just told if they didn't like it tough go look for a job somewhere else (which they did) I always thought that part time/job sharing was up to the descretion of the employer. How niave :roll: We should find out more on our rights in the work place really.

by **Mrs O'Neill** » Thu Sep 22, 2022 11:10 am

I definitely want to be a full time mum. Don't know if that will be possible though so I might have to consider working part time. We'll work it out when the time comes!

Would you consider being a stay-at-home wife?

Hubbie will stay at home

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