sons alternative christening report

Princess09 · by **Princess09** » Fri Apr 27, 2022 5:09 pm

Thought I'd share a piece here and in mums and kids on what a fab day we had for our sons wonderful non religious christening day

Following a post I added on here Children with no religion and the overwhelming response from mothers with exactly same views as me, of not just going with flow and get our children christened a catholic, for one reason being simply to get our children into local schools or peer pressure from family.

Anyway for me I wanted something spiritual, with reference to God but not specific to religion, another Wollie suggested Celtic Monk Dara Molloy, once I contacted him to see if he would travel to midlands from Aran islands, he sent suggested ceremony details but we could change as we wished.

The most special part was that the whole ceremony was entirely centered about our son, celebrating him and focusing on wishing the very best for him in the future and also getting our close family and friends involved, I was really excited about the ceremony! :o)ll

Family and friends were surprised, as it was quite different, and they were thrilled to have the chance to be involved as much or as little as they were comfortable with, even the children seemed interested throughout the ceremony, not what you would have had with a traditional Christening!

We thought about having ceremony our house, I'm so glad I didn't in the end, even though we only had 20 close family and friends.

We held it in the most fantastic, small intimate privately owned church, used for events called The Glade,
http://www.theglade.ie/#/nida-collins/4551340843
which I was so lucky to accidently come across, by having Nida take the most amazing photos of my son as a newborn. :lvs

The Glade was perfect as located close to where we live, near Edenderry/Kinnegad area.

Nida, who is a truly inspirational lady, with such a kind heart and the most amazing eye for detail, I knew this from the photos she took of our son, as her main profession as a photographer (more info on Nida's photographic work on here http://www.nida.ie/index.php/photo-gallery.html) Her website does not truly do her photographic work justice, her framed photos are works of art!

Anyway hopefully you can see from the short Youtube clip above, which as photos Nida took on the day along with ensuring everything was running smoothly and ensuring our family were well looked after, Nida had the glade looking amazing, her attention to detail is spot on as in she even had slippers for ladies in heels , wraps for ladies/children in evening when turned bit chilly but the sun shone on the day, which was welcomed esp as we were getting blustery April showers right up to that morning! Which I'd say Nida even had a word to the big man about also!! :o0

Anyway to any mothers wondering about what to do re christening, def go with whatever feels right for you and not what you feel pressured into for schools or extended family!

And also I cannot recommend Nida enough as a photographer or even The Glade as a venue for special occasions.

(**Report editied to include more info on laptop as initially added this report via smartphone, predictive text changed a lot of words!)

BrideOfRecession · by **BrideOfRecession** » Fri Apr 27, 2022 7:14 pm

Princess09 wrote:Thought I'd share a piece here and in mums and kids on what a fab day we had last week for our sons wonderful non religious christening day

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?desktop_ur ... R3Y0&gl=IE

Following a post I added on here Children with no religion and the overwhelming trainees of mothers with exactly same views about the view of not just going with flow and get son christened a catholic for ease of getting son into local school!

Anyway for me I wanted something spiritual, with reference to God but not specific to s religion, another Wollie suggested Celtic Monk Dara Molloy, once I contacted him to see if he would travel to midlands from Aran islands, he sent osuggested ceremony details but we could change as we wished.

That was me that was me! I think... Anyway I'm so glad it worked out so well. I feel so proud. I'm taking all the credit. :o0

Princess09 · by **Princess09** » Tue May 01, 2022 10:16 pm

BrideOfRecession wrote:
That was me that was me! I think... Anyway I'm so glad it worked out so well. I feel so proud. I'm taking all the credit.

Sure was, thank you very much! :thnk

Daisy Day · by **Daisy Day** » Thu May 03, 2022 10:18 am

Princess09 I was going to post a thread on alternatives to getting your baby christened! It's wonderful to know that there are other options out there.
My DH and I have no intention of getting our baby christened (due in 6 weeks!). We didn't get married in a church and as you might see from the other thread on the Sean Brady interview I am so angry about the state of the Catholic Church that I want nothing to do with it, let alone bringing my child into it. Anyway one problem is that my parents aren't happy about our decision, especially my mam who I would consider very liberal and open-minded. I couldn't believe her reaction when we told her we wouldn't be christening the baby and we explained our views, most of which she agreed with I might add, but was still was upset we weren't having a christening. I really don't get where she's coming from to be honest.

The other problem is schools. I'm really confused about what the situation is there. 99% of the schools in our area are Catholic - does that mean if our child isn't christened he'll be excluded from all of those schools? I think there are a couple of Educate Together schools around but with huge waiting lists. I suppose I could stick his name down now and hope for the best?!?

Anne Cordelia Shirley · by **Anne Cordelia Shirley** » Thu May 03, 2022 10:40 am

Daisy Day, get your child's name down ASAP after birth for ET. I was talking to the principle of the one nearest us and she told me as soon as we have the PPS number to send in an application as they have only 60 places and get a lot more applications. I have also contacted the other school nearest us which is Catholic and which I attended and got confirmation in writing that our child not being baptised will not preclude us from getting a place. I'm not 100% happy with the fact we'll likely have to send our children to a Catholic school and have them left out of class time during religion and prep for communions and confirmation but equally we just don't want to give into the pressure to have a christening because 'that's what everyone else does'.

Well done on the alternative christening Princess09! Sounds like a lovely day.

Daisy Day · by **Daisy Day** » Thu May 03, 2022 11:28 am

Cripes thanks for the tip on Educate Together ACS! I really didn't think that we'd have to be thinking so seriously about schools before our baba is even born!! Nuts isn't it?
That's also good to know about the Catholic schools. It really annoys me that all our friends are openly admitting they're only getting their kids christened to getting them into school and they won't set foot in a church again until communion day! So hypocritical.

libramoon · by **libramoon** » Thu May 03, 2022 12:07 pm

Princess09, sounds (and looks) like you had a great day! I want to do something like this after our baby is born. I've been trying to think of places and you've given me some great ideas there :thnk

DH doesn't believe in god either but he doesn't care if our baby gets christened, goes to a catholic school, makes their communion and confirmation so I feel I'm going to be alone on this one! He said it didn't do him any harm and in the end he still made up his own mind about it but I just have a problem with it. It feels very hypocritical.

There is a school right across the road from us and it is catholic. It would be so handy to send them to school there as it wouldn't involve a drive everyday (we live in the sticks). I'm not sure how its going to be though as I'd imagine being a rural community not may would have their kids excluded from religion class but I could be wrong I guess. Also we have friends whose son went to a Catholic school but they asked that he be left out of religion. However when it came to it he asked if he could make his communion. I personally think it was because he didn't want to be left out of this "big day" all his friends were having. They ended up having to christen him before he could make his communion but I guess we'll cross that bridge when and if we come to it!

Princess09 · by **Princess09** » Thu May 03, 2022 5:35 pm

My biggest worry for my son was will he be sent out of class during Religion, as our local school also in a rural-ish area is catholic, that was almost why we did christen him a catholic, but then I spoke to another mum with 2 girls attending same school, they also have no religion, and she advised 3 out of a class of 5 for first communion are non catholic, they just do something else during first communion prep.

I'm so glad now that we didnt go down catholic route, so our son didnt feel left out, now when I see friends children making communion and confirmation, I just think, really what is the point of communion/confirmation, totally pointless for the majority in my opinion, it's all about getting the child decked out in latest fashion, which they'll look back in a few years and say 'what was I wearing?!' and to get money in a card and a day out afterwards in a restaurant/pub/hotel with family, now it's great that family come together to celebrate for that young person but I have to ask myself, WHAT does communion/confirmation really celebrate, if they thought about the real meaning and were true to themselves?? O:|

I'd rather make more of an occasion for the child out of a birthday to be honest.

Our option of the celebration for our sons christening was not cheap, prob all included just over 1K, scary when I add it all up, but when I look at it we are not going to have the pointless (IMO) cost of communion and confirmation, and that christening ceremony meant everything to me and my hubby for our son, so it was def worth it for us.

Of course there are cheaper alternatives, I know of a few couples who had a gathering in their home and made up their own 'ceremony' as such, or there is also another lady who does naming ceremonies, cant think of the name now.

To be honest something has to be done that the majority of schools are not so dominated by the ridiculously outdated (IMO) Catholic church.

Princess09 · by **Princess09** » Thu May 03, 2022 5:44 pm

Daisy Day wrote:
Anyway one problem is that my parents aren't happy about our decision, especially my mam who I would consider very liberal and open-minded. I couldn't believe her reaction when we told her we wouldn't be christening the baby and we explained our views, most of which she agreed with I might add, but was still was upset we weren't having a christening. I really don't get where she's coming from to be honest.

The other problem is schools. I'm really confused about what the situation is there. 99% of the schools in our area are Catholic - does that mean if our child isn't christened he'll be excluded from all of those schools? I think there are a couple of Educate Together schools around but with huge waiting lists. I suppose I could stick his name down now and hope for the best?!?

Good luck with baby Daisy, I would say do what is true to you and hubby for your child.
Even my biggest critics, my own granny, quite religious, she was blown away by our ceremony and is still talking about it!

Even though what we down was different, to be honest unless we told people, some of our guest might not have realised, there were still some elements which were what you'd expect from a catholic christening, like candle, white blanket, anointing DS forehead, blessing his head with water, now all elements which myself and hubby thought were lovely and done cos we wanted included, I suppose the only real thing would be that it was not held in the local church, it was just by chance our venue happened to be a privately owned church.

You will know what is right to do for you once your baby is a few weeks old, best of luck!

Lizzie02 · by **Lizzie02** » Thu May 03, 2022 5:54 pm

Princess09, I have pm'd you there.

BTW, I loved your ceremony

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