so with only 4 months to go and we havent been in contact with hotel since booking last year, I guess I should be making contact with the hotel soon to discuss doing a menu tasting, dinner times, what we want for centerpieces, music etc.. and i say etc.. cos I dont know what else we need to be talking about or enquiring about
anyone got a list or something i can work from of the to-do's with the hotel?

+1 We've the same timeframe to our day and have emailed the hotel twice since...

1. To enquire what the children's menu was and how much
2. To see if they would put on our chair sashes for us if I bought them as they only supply Ivory ones...

Will have to contact them soon to see if they will allow us to have a DIY candy buffet... Cos I want to start getting the jars and bowls....
I don't think they offer a menu tasting so I won't have to worry about that but from another couple that got married in our venue lately they said they were in the hotel 6 weeks prior to the wedding sorting out times, menu and songs....

Girls, you make me look/feel very bad cos I'd say I've emailed the hotel maybe 15 times since we booked last year! I have just over 3 months to go. Can't believe you have emailed them only twice Awkward Annie and not at all Princess2B. They must think "Uh oh, we've had another email from Bridezilla. What is she asking now?!" And in fairness, I'm trying to think what I have actually emailed them about all those times, ha ha! Sheesh, I know that I'm an (over) organised person but maybe I'm a bridezilla!! I don't think of myself as one because I don't get stressed or have strops about any of the wedding planning but maybe the hotel think I am!!!

Anyway, I have arranged a menu tasting and to meet them in June to finalise everything so maybe I should slow up on the emails, ha ha!

Have you asked them about:
timings for the arrival drinks/ meal / band/ evening food
kids meals (whether they could have half adult's portion if they didn't want a child's meal etc),
room allocation and how many rooms you might have left from it to book or release
setting up- sweet buffet / place names/ favours/ chair covers/ sashes/ a guest book & photo table
the table plan and how many tables you'll be having with x amount of guests so that you can order/make the right number of table names and do a table plan etc
a safe or where you should keep any envelopes received on the day
music- how you will play a CD during dinner etc

Hope this helps, can't think of anything else right now.

I'm at the 4 month mark too,i've only emailed them twice with queries.Leaving it up to them to contact me about menu tasting.

actually I have contacted them once..when i discovered that all rooms were sold out for our wedding night and had a panic because none of my family had even booked in yet....and then i was utterly embarrassed when they told me it was because they had blocked booked all the rooms for me and thats why was showing up on system as sold out! think thats why i havent been to inclined to keep in contact..still feel stupid about that!

corkiegirl - fair play to ya wouldn't have even thought of half those things!
keep them coming if ya think of anymore

Jackpot girls! I found this list of handy questions on the Musicians site we have booked for wedding!
this is going to be one hell of an email to our hotel

What to ask the Venue Manager

When will we need to provide final guest numbers?
What is the minimum number required for the Ballroom, and are children included in this number?
How many staff will be provided on the day - waiting and bar?
Is there a smoking area off the ballroom?
Is there a choice of table shapes, i.e round, square.
How many can each table seat - how many tables are there?
What table layout do you recommend?
Will there be someone I can liaise with who will be there on the day?
What are the arrangements for greeting guests as they arrive?
Do you number the tables or do we?
Can you play music during the meal - CD?
Will a staff member handle this, or will we need to find someone?
Is there a stand for the table plan?
Can a member of staff act as 'toastmaster' - announcer for speeches, cake cutting etc?
What is the payment schedule?
Who will be supervising on the day of the wedding?
What costs are incurred if the guest numbers change last minute?
Is there flexibility on the cost of the bar extension?
Is there a limit to the number of day and evening guests?
Are there any noise restrictions, e.g. for the band?
Are fireworks allowed (not necessarily required, just checking!)?
Do you include the bridal suite free of charge?
Do we get a free night on our 1st year anniversary?
Do we get a reduced rate for the night before the wedding?
Is it possible to have hairdressers and make-up artists come to our room on morning of the wedding.
How can we ensure that rooms are reserved for VIP guests only - does this require a deposit?
Is there a room we can safely store gifts, etc during the day (other than a bedroom)?
Will you inform us if there is another wedding on the same day as ours?
Food, Drink, etc
When do we need to decide on the menu?
When can we come in for a menu tasting?
Is it free of charge and do we get a free night in the hotel for this menu tasting?
Will we be able to meet and liaise with the chef occasionally?
Can we provide some alcohol for the evening reception?
How much would you charge per glass of champagne, if we wished to offer a glass to each guest?
When does the bar open?
What happens to un-used wine and champagne?
How long will the evening buffet be out until it is cleared away?
How much afters food do you advise for 100 day guests and no afters guests?
What is the children's menu - how much is it?
What is the vegetarian option, when do we need to let you know numbers of vegetarians?
Is there a charge for choice of main course?
Is it possible to have some other dish in case main dish is not liked (eg. Chicken dish if beef main silent choice?)
Can you cater for anyone with a special diet i.e. gluten free, etc?
Is there a cheaper food option available for photographer/band, etc?
Do you have high chairs available? How many?
Is service charge included in the price?
Will we be able to sample the house wine and house champagne before we choose our drinks package?
Bar extension - How much and until what time?

The Wedding Cake
Does the hotel provide a cake stand and what type is it?
Is there a cover for the stand? What colour is it?
When is it cut? How much is cut?
Does hotel provide a cake knife?
When should the wedding cake be delivered, and where will it be stored?
Can we use wedding cake as dessert?
Decorations

Who is responsible for decorating the venue - when is the room available?
Who will decorate the tables?
Can we have tea-lights/candles on the tables?
What chair covers can be provided?
Would someone be able to collect the decorations after the event, and we will arrange to have them taken home the following day?
Do you have any restrictions on decorations?
What is the china/glassware like?
Is confetti allowed outside of the building?
What flowers/decorations, etc are provided?
Do you provide flowers for the top table?
Will there be linen table cloths and napkins?
Will someone be able to collect any decorations that we've brought so that we can collect them at some point after the reception?
Table Plan
How is it displayed?
When do we need to let the hotel know the names & numbers of guests and seating plan?
Timings
How long should we allow for reception drinks, meal, etc?
What is the best time that the evening guests should arrive?
At what time should the wedding cake be served?
What time will you serve the evening buffet?
How long will the meal take to be served?
What time should we book band?
What time does DJ have to end?
What time is bar closed at?
What time is residents bar open until? Is there residents bar?
Guest Information
What is the check-in/out time for overnight guests?
How will people buy additional alcohol during the meal?
Is there anywhere for guests to store coats, bags, etc?
Will there be someone on hand to arrange taxi's for departing guests?
What time is breakfast served in the morning?
Payment
How much of a deposit is required?
Percentage required before/after the day (proforma invoice issued)?
Is the service charge included?
If the numbers are slightly out on the day, will it still cost?
Method (Credit card/cheque/cash)?
When does the balance need to be paid?

princessB2B you are a STAR

What a brilliant list! Thanks a mill for a that.

Now I feel bad, I've only rang twice - once to ask about the cake stand and if there were any HSE regulations to bringing in our own cake, to check if we had to provide chair covers and backdrop (we do) and tablecloths (we don't) and the second time to tell her we'd booked our band and said chair covers & backdrop. Oh and to ask how many people to a table so that I'd know how many centrepieces to get.

I'm wondering now if I need to be asking all those questions too, I was just thinking of firing off the invitations in a few months and then going down for a chat when I have a better idea of numbers...

Thanks girls - this list is a god send.

For info I have only contacted the venue once (yesterday) since I booked them a year ago.

My hotel have actually just contacted me to say that as it's getting close to the wedding, we should meet up! I don't have anything left to ask them, ha ha...