ttc after a miscarriage

toureg · by **toureg** » Wed Apr 04, 2022 7:44 am

Hows everyone getting on here??
Im tryng to psych myself up for trying this month again.. :innocent:

by **The Love Bug** » Wed Apr 04, 2022 11:31 am

Hey Toureg, :wv

getting on okay here.
Had a bad couple of days last week was just mainly fed up with things, losing patience with the whole ttc and avoiding people in case another person says to me "It'll be you next" or "Have you any news?" I know people don't mean to make me feel this way but really feel the pressure. O:|

Trying to calm myself down, relax and stay positive about life.
I'm in the same boat as you trying to psych myself up for this month. Going to do the SMEP plan for sure (1st time) this month. Starting today! Have bought preseed to use this month. Def going in with the mindset of relaxing and not to pimp! Going away over the weekend with dh so that should make things easier too. I'll be wrecked by next week with this SMEP. :zzzz:

Hope everybody else is doing well too. Its such a hard road for us all but I truly believe our time will come. :babydust:

toureg · by **toureg** » Wed Apr 04, 2022 12:53 pm

The weekend away sounds good Love bug.. :xox

Im not doing anything this month only hoping mother nature will guide my hubbys swimmers to the gates of heaven! :o0

No piddle sicks, no pimping, i cant control dreams but i dont want to have them either...im just keeping it plain and simple... and if it doesnt happen then next month god only knows!! Legs a kimbo :troll:

Best of luck to all here though... its not an easy place to be
:babydust:

lollisue · by **lollisue** » Wed Apr 04, 2022 12:59 pm

Hi Toureg,

I'm on my 2ww at the mo. Fingers crossed but to be honest i'm finding it really hard to be positive :(

toureg · by **toureg** » Wed Apr 04, 2022 1:19 pm

Hang on in there lollisue...
Dont be so hard on yourself here, all you can say is ye both tried and if its not this month then there are many more to come...not all hope is lost by a long long shot :xxx

So many are waiting for their first AF after mc and thats a lot harder in a lot of ways ... its great your in a place to be able to ttc right now and seriously hun its only a matter of time... :xxx

And who knows, you could have a little cluster of precious beanie cells there that you just dont know about.... i really really hope it happens for you ;o)

Keep the chin up ... your almost onto a lovely long weekend.
Plan something lovely this weekend to keep you going
:thnk

lollisue · by **lollisue** » Wed Apr 04, 2022 1:44 pm

aw thanks Toureg, lovely post!
I know i just need to keep post, i'm luckier than a lot of people!
Have a great weekend everyone.

by **The Love Bug** » Wed Apr 04, 2022 5:18 pm

Fingers and toes Lollisue. Keep us updated.
Toureg thanks for the posts and the dose of reality. They made me smile. :thnk

For anyone waiting on af to arrive, really hope it arrives for you soon. Have a great weekend everyone. :babydust:

by **Lily Mae** » Wed Apr 04, 2022 7:34 pm

Hope everyone's well. Not doing too bad at the moment. I had a girls weekend way last weekend which was lovely and just what I needed. DH and I have a week away together at the end of the month too, so I'm looking forward to lots of long walks and delicious dinners and quality time.

I reckon I am ovulating at the moment so hoping to get DH into bed early tonight >:o)

I feel quite positive this month. I've started acupuncture which has been great for de-stressing, and tackling all my other issues (Crohns, anxiety, back pain). I know its swings and roundabouts, and my positivity might be gone next week but I really feel good at the moment.

Hope everyone is well and that you all have a fab long weekend with your friends and family. And eat LOTS of chocolate!

by **goodietwoshoes** » Wed Apr 04, 2022 10:43 pm

Hi all,
I had missed miscarriage last Friday.Was 11 wks +5, fetus 8 wks.Had a horrific wend waiting to go back to hospital on Monday for a scan and to decide how to proceed with things.Long story short, I woke with cramps and heavy bleeding early Monday morning, collapsed before I got to hospital.I've decided to let the rest pass naturally over the coming weeks.My dh and I are both devestated at our loss.I haven't been able to talk to anyone yet, not ready to listen to the same lines over and over again 'it happens all the time' etc.People mean well, but sometimes they're better off saying nothing.
We were ttc#2 since September, which I know doesn't seem that long to some of you, but felt like ages for us.I desperately want another baby, and feel like a right fool for planning when I'd have the next 3 - mother nature having a right good laugh.Some people aren't ready to think about ttc so soon after miscarriage, but it's something I need to think about soon.
Anyway, I thought I'd stick my head in here for a look.I have a few questions, and if anyone can throw their tuppenceworth in, I'd appreciate it.
Firstly, does anyone know how long it takes for af to come back, or does it vary hugely?
Secondly, what is SEMP?
Thirdly, I'm an emotional wreck at the moment.Been crying incessantly since mmc happened, have awful headaches etc. Feel so out of control of my emotions.i'm trying to just go with it, but I have to look after my ds too and be stable for him.How have you coped with your emotions?
Wishing you all lots of :babydust:

lollisue · by **lollisue** » Thu Apr 05, 2022 8:40 am

Hi Goodietwoshoes,

I am so so sorry for your loss. Nothing anyone can say will make it better at the moment, you and your DH just need to try and work though it.
On the questions - af seems to vary. I didn't have a D&C, i had a natural miscarriage and i got af 4 weeks after I miscarried. I've been regular since also so i suppose i'm lucky in that regard. Some of the girls have been waiting a lot longer. I don't really know anything about SEMP, but i found this which seems to explain it: http://www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm

Hope you're doing ok!

by **Ljp** » Thu Apr 05, 2022 5:34 pm

Hi Goodietwoshoes,
So sorry to hear about your mc, life just isn't fair...Its normal to be an emotional wreck at this stage...so just let yourself grieve. I know u'll have hear it before but time is the only thing that helps i reckon...gradually u'll find that bit by bit, u feel better and able to cope with getting back to normal. Really look after yourself and your hubbie.
I got my AF 5 weeks after my D+C but it seems to vary for everyone. Basically u have to wait till all the pregnancy hormone (hcg) is gone and then your cycle will kick in and u get your af about 2-4 weeks after that.
Hope u are ok, look after yourself...

by **goodietwoshoes** » Fri Apr 06, 2022 12:54 pm

Thanks for the link Lollisue, makes for interesting reading.The thoughts of taking temps, charts, and p**ing on sticks again is really off-putting, but as I'm pushing to my late 30s I haven't much choice but to get back to it as soon as af makes her return.
Ljp thanks for the feedback re af.Never thought I'd be wishing so hard for her to make an appearance.
Finding today particularly hard.DS is like a briar, not sleeping with the teeth coming through.My back aches from lifting him, and I start crying every time he does.

He's gone down for nap now, so I think I'll do the same.

by **mammatweet** » Mon Apr 09, 2022 10:22 am

hi, been lurking for a while so just wanted to say thanks, its good to see I'm not the only one getting highs lows.

goody2shoes, I hope ur minding yourself I had mmc after baby and its really tough to find time and space and all will tell u ur lucky as have baby. this drove and drives me luney as I want to say oh do u have 2 arms/parents/siblings.. u won't miss one will u?! but time has been good and some very good friends help. I wasn't as strong as u and needed a lot of time to start ttc again. so here I am. I'm now finding I want to talk about mc, want to acknowledge what might've been.

for me I had a long period of odd afs but was medical mc after long wait. I needed what would've been due date to pass, was not ready before this so 3rd cycle later.

babydust for all x
:babydust:

by **Newbie12** » Tue Apr 10, 2022 8:49 pm

........

by **goodietwoshoes** » Wed Apr 11, 2022 7:44 pm

Newbie12 wrote: I just cant explain how i feel, my every waking thought is about babies and how I should be enjoying my pregnancy and that there must have been something I could have done to prevent what happened.

Hi Newbie,
I'm exactly the same as you, constantly thinking about babies.My mmc only happened very recently, but all that's keeping me going is dh, ds and the thought of getting pregnant again asap. DH is also more on the side of letting things happen naturally.I however will be temping, peeing on sticks, doing everything I can to help things along.He tries not to show his annoyance that I keep obsessing about when it'll happen, but I really can't help it.This is my way of dealing with things, so he'll just have to get over it.
:babydust:

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