ttc after a miscarriage

by **Ljp** » Sun Apr 15, 2022 3:27 pm

Hi all, I've just had a pretty rough week and need some words of support please..!
I got my BFP about 2 and a half weeks ago, 2 cycles after my D+C. Needless to say i was thrilled it happened again so quickly-had all the symptoms of pregnancy and was feeling good. Didn't post it up here purely cos i was so scared of anything happening. I didn't let myself get too excited, didn't plan too much, didn't talk much about it much with DH just in case, wanted to wait till i had first scan. At same time i kept saying this time it'll be ok, i went through a mc, i've been through all the hardship and now this one is going to be a keeper, this one will be fine... We were going on hols last sun, so i thought it'd be great to relax, get lots of sleep. Half way through the week i woke up with pains in stomach and when i went to loo there was blood and i miscarried over the next two days. I didn't go to doc over there, didn't want strange doctor in strange country and i know there was nothing they could do.
We just got back today and i feel really low and sick, going to my doc tomorrow. I am now sick with worry that something is wrong..i know u need three mc before they do tests but has anyone had them after two? What can the doc do for me tomorrow? I feel really depressed and scared.I mean twice in a row, i can't be that unlucky. My first was a missed mc at 8 wks and this was at 6wks. I now feel that i will never carry a baby past the first few weeks...
I needed to write all this down i guess, as am having a hard time coping with it. I don't plan on telling anyone about the 2nd one, don't want family to worry so its good to have this place to share....
Thanks and hope everyone else is doing ok

by **tttc2012** » Sun Apr 15, 2022 3:50 pm

Hi ljp, so sorry to read that post and i understand exactly how you feel as I had three in a row and it is worrying and scary.. Because I had a mc a few years ago I was referred to the mc clinic before my third recent mc and while they will do tests more often than not they come up clear for everyone (which mine have) I've been offered aspirin and progesterone for next pregnancy and basically told to go off and try again which is scary in itself. I'm not sure if your gp is good but maybe get 7dpo bloods done to make sure your progesterone is ok or see if your gp suggests anything. Sorry I'm not much use but try not to just assume that there is a problem and I know thats difficult because I was exactly the same.

I know you don't feel like saying it to anyone at the moment and I get why, it hurts me to see my family and friends upset and worried for me so I almost wish they didn't know but if you feel like talking do tell them as they will be just as supportive and might hate to see you go through this by yourself.

All I can say is mind yourself and try not to worry. It really could just be pure bad luck and next time you could be fine. Take care and if I can help let me know

:xox

by **The Love Bug** » Sun Apr 15, 2022 5:48 pm

Ljp, so sorry to hear your sad news. You must be very shocked, angry and upset by it all. Big hugs to you. :xxx

I hope your dh is looking after you and giving you plenty of hugs. Its really hard to know what to say. My advice would be to get yourself down to the doctor tom, make sure he records it and get your 3day and 7dpo tests done. You obviously can get pregnant quite quickly so as ttc2012 said it would be good to know if your progesterone levels are in order or maybe it could be a case of total bad luck.
Really hope you're doing okay and please vent as much as you want here. I know I didn't tell family or friends about my mc so I find theses forums a godsend. xxx

toureg · by **toureg** » Mon Apr 16, 2022 12:32 pm

Oh LJP im so so sorry for whats happened to you..

Jesus that sucks, and is a majoy blow to you so take some time out here hun. :xxx

Im always baffled about the phrase 'look after yourself' at times like this cause how do you do it??... like something really horrible has happened to you here through no fault of your own, yet your heart feels like its broken..
If i can give my slant on 'look after yourself' then just take time.. be around your hubby lots and lots and other people that your very close to you (you dont need to tell them at all, or talk about it, but just be close to those you trust the most).
When you feel like calling into your doc then go for it. Let tears flow cause your mourning the loss here ...
And, see what he/she suggests. It will be very hard for you to think of ttc again so soon...so dont put yourself under too much pressure...
Im sending all the hugs i can right now....its all i can, but you have a lot of friends here who you can call on any time you need.....
:xxx

by **Ljp** » Mon Apr 16, 2022 8:32 pm

Thanks girls so much for your kind words and advice.
Feel much better today, prob cos I cried for about 5 hours yest. Went to doc today, she is referring me to gynacologist privately so at least something is being done. There could be something wrong or it could be nothing just really bad luck. Also got sent to hospital to see if I needed scan but after blood check my hcg level was low enough for them to think that the mc is complete so that was good- at least it's over- was scared Iight have to get another d&c.
Think I will not ttc for a while, I need to not think about babies and take a break from it. Although I don't feel it the docs said I'm young and have lots of time (I'm 32).
Just rang a good friend and told her, it was good to share it all..
Thanks again for the advice..., hope u are all doing ok. Will still pop in and out of here to see how things are going for every1... :babydust:

by **Blueeyes79** » Mon Apr 16, 2022 10:04 pm

Hi Ljp,

I'm very sorry to hear of your recent loss, & it must have made it worse (if possible) because you were away and I hope you never experience one ever again! it is very a sad thing and I am glad you are feeling a bit better today, its so unfair and I know this won't help but it is comforting that you can get pregnant so quickly and I hope when your ready you have a successful pregnancy soon.

I'm sorry if I haven't responded to anyone else as I haven't been on here until today & I'm sorry for everyone's recent loss and I wish everyone gets a BFP soon.

No news with me except not trying, husband having test done so we'll see how that plays out.

I hope everyone is doing ok.

Blueeyes.

by **Tragen** » Wed Apr 18, 2022 8:02 am

Hi girls,
I have just read through the last few pages and my heart is breaking for you all! Ljp I hope you are doing ok!
I would have been 6 weeks pregnant on Saturday, I woke up on Friday with really bad lower back pain and bleeding. I was devastated. I had had symptoms for 3 weeks and 'just knew' I wasn't pimping. I had gotten 2 BFNs before finally getting a BFP 3 days after my period was due.
I live abroad so I haven't told my family as I know they will just worry. I went to my doctor when it happened as I figured I would probably need a scan or something. Well all I got in response after I sat there crying was 'what do you want me to do about it'... followed by ' this happens in 18% of pregnancies' ... 'its nothing to worry about'.... 'at least you can get pregnant' ... bla bla bla.
Thankfully when I rang my non-national boss, he was fantastic! He asked how I got on with the doctor and being american he could not believe I wasn't being sent for a scan. He told me to take a few days and not to come back before I'm ready.
I passed the pregnancy on Sunday and I have to say I found that traumatic! To see all your hopes and dreams for this precious baby pass out of you... :o(

My DH couldn't deal with it the first day, it was like he didn't believe me, but since then he has been fabulous, looking after me, cooking, giving me loads of hugs :lvs

Thankfully the bleeding has nearly stopped, I haven't had any complications which I am very thankful for. I am still very tender and sore, how long does this last? I am still getting some light cramps, I'm not sure whether it is my uterus contracting?
I think one of the sad things coming out of a miscarriage is that you can't view pregnancy the same again. However, I firmly believe we will have our little family in the not too distant future.... onwards and upwards I say!!

by **Allingoodtime** » Wed Apr 18, 2022 3:34 pm

I was 'diagnosed' with missed MC last Thurs at 9wks + 3days. I have another scan & consulation tomorrow and a probably D&C on Friday. This is not going to happen by itself, I have no signs. I've been back in work since Fri as I hadn't told them and don't want to. So I'm taking holidays and planning to come back in again Monday (hope not too ambitious).

Anyway all I wanted to say for now is that I look forward to re-joining the TTC gang again soon and I promsie to be a regular on 'TTC after MC'.

Tragen.......its just unreal isn't it? There really are no words but 'hope springs eternal' and that's what we have to focus on now, and of course the fabulous love and support we have from the men in our lives.

by **Tragen** » Thu Apr 19, 2022 8:36 am

Ah Allingoodtime, Im so sorry to hear about you loss! You wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy!
Try to get loads of rest over the weekend if you are going back on Monday. I don't know if recovery is different for D&C versus natural miscarriage but I have found the tiredness and the headaches the worst. I have found I am emotionally better since I stopped bleeding and started eating properly again.
Apparently we should increase protein (esp red meat) green vegetables and fruit in order to increase much needed iron, vitamin k, c and magnesium. I am going to try and focus on my diet to help my recovery.

Im going to go back tomorrow to catch up on emails etc so I can get stuck in on Monday.

All the best today and tomorrow.... we are here for you if you need support

by **winegum** » Mon Apr 23, 2022 7:53 pm

Hi girls

So ive been meaning to post on here for quite a while now, but DS is a full time job and doesnt really allow me to use the computer much! My story is that i was diagnosed with a mmc at the end of Feb at what should have been a routine 8wk scan. I naively thought everything was going ok as i had no reason to think otherwise - no pain, no bleeding, nothing. My god i got the worst shock of my life when i was told baby had stopped growing two wks earlier and there was no heartbeat. I obviously know how common miscarriage is, but i suppose i never really thought id find myself in that position, and i could never have imagined the devastation it would cause. Loosing a little life that you thought you'd have, its just so unbelievably painful. Although i was still quite early on, i had of course in my head gotten carried away thinking about dates, life with two LOs, etc.

It took me nearly two weeks after the scan for me to start to bleed properly, and then i lost the pregnancy naturally. All in all i feel like i was wrapped in a black cloud for about a month after that first scan, a cloud which i couldnt see out of, but now thank god i feel a lot better and ready to look to the future. I decided not to ttc til i got the first af back, and that came on April 8th, earlier than id been expecting really. So i thought this would be our first month to ttc seriously again, but then poor ds ended up in hospital all last week, and so as a result this month has been a bit all over the place ttc-wise. I did an opk on Sat (day 14), got a positive, and dtd, now thats it for this month cos of everything thats been going on i just dont have time to focus enough on ttc. If we're not lucky this month, we'll try more seriously next month.

Im delighted to have this thread, and disappointed i didnt get to post here sooner, as you girls seem to be a fantastic source of support. You understand better than anyone else could how painful the experience of mc is, and how daunting the ttc process is afterwards. I worry that whenever i am lucky enough to get another precious BFP, all ill feel is worry and nervousness that the same sad fate awaits me again. However nervous i was at scans before, i dont know how ill contain myself at all now.

Anyway, thanks for listening, sorry for the extra long post. Hope you are all doing well on your ttc journey.

by **Allingoodtime** » Wed Apr 25, 2022 8:28 am

Hi ladies

I'm sure these Qs have been answered before but I cannot trawl through the posts at work . Have to be careful in work as I had a MMC and D&C last Friday but my employer does not know & already giving me a hard time for taking day off last Friday. Anyway.....

What supplements / nutrition should be aiming for to help ttc again
At moment I'm still just taking my folic acid. Is it ok to start epo again?

Related to above..... did u get EWCM to indicate ov while u were waiting on 1st AF after MC?

Thanks Girlies x

by **Mamalily** » Thu Apr 26, 2022 8:46 am

This is a difficult time for all of us girls. Thank God we have this thread to help us through our bad days.

Ljp - your story is heartbreaking. Just want to send you a big :xox

This is what scares me to think that you are in control and then it's all taken from you. So sorry pet xx

Tragen - sending you a big hug too :xox

you are very positive and strong.

Allingoodtime - I hope you're ok? Try to take as much time as you need to heal. I didn't and I regretted it. Try to take some time off for yourself. Easier said than done I know :xox

Winegum - I could have written your story myself! Best of luck with ttc xxx

I haven't been on here in a while (mc in sept and dec 11)and I feel I'm ready (but very nervous) to start ttc again. Will be dtd >:o)

over the weekend so fingers crossed x

Best of luck to all you wonderful ladies..

Mamalily

by **Mamalily** » Mon Apr 30, 2022 10:27 am

Hi Ladies - I feel I need to have a chat. I never thought I'd feel excited about ttcing again. The last 8 months have been difficult to say the least. After 2 mc's I feel I'm ready to try again. I tried two months ago and got very nervous and had nightmares about miscarrying again. My body wasn't ready and I didn't conceive. I took a break from it for a month and it's exactly what I needed - We had a very busy month with weddings and parties and I was surrounded by lots of pregnant ladies but I was able for it and I felt OK talking to them. I've spoken a lot about my experience to lots of people and this has really helped. I've also spoken openly to lots of girls who have come out the other side and went on to have beautiful babies.

I hope this feeling lasts. If we are lucky to conceive again I pray this baby will stay with us.

Our first angel was due today. Mammy and Daddy love you very much :lvs

by **Allingoodtime** » Tue May 01, 2022 10:55 am

Hi Mamalily

Just to day I hope you got through yesterday OK and I'm thinking of you. I know there are just no words that will be of comfort to you so I won't even try. Be really nice to yourself at the moment.

X

by **thelostdj** » Wed May 02, 2022 8:08 am

Mamalily hope you go through yesterday ok. I found due dates very difficult last year and noone will under stand it other than yourself DH and the ladies on WOL.
Hope everyone else is doing ok. Just to let people know, if you're in Dublin the Irish Miscarriage Assoc is meeting this Thursday. They only meet once a month and I think take a break over the summer so just thought Id let ye know.
Also I have some MP3 I got from the lady that does the gentlebirth programme, specifically designed to help you get over miscarriage and when you're ready to get into a positive frame of mind for conception. If nothing else they are totally relaxing and will help you go to sleep. I think she has psoted them on Lost Angels forum otherwise if anyone wants them PM ame and I can send.

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